There are three reasons:
First, contemporary parents attach unprecedented importance to education.
Today's parents are basically the generation from the 1970s to the 1990s. In the process of growing up, education is very cost-effective. They agree with the concept that "knowledge changes fate" more than any generation. This excessive emphasis on education has turned into anxiety.
Second, contemporary parents and teachers are more prone to distrust.
In the era of highly information, many parents read a lot of popular information about education before their children are born, and basically have their own set of educational ideas, which makes it easier to disagree with some teachers' educational methods or ideas, thus easily causing contradictions.
Third, the willingness of contemporary parents and teachers to communicate is unprecedented.
Both home and school lack correct communication experience, and many times they can't even understand each other. Teachers feel tired of undertaking a lot of procedural affairs outside of teaching every day, and parents feel tired of supporting their families and educating their children, so it is difficult for both sides to understand each other.
It is difficult to fully trust teachers, the pressure of life, and the future of children. These fears accumulate together, and when the atmosphere arrives, emotions will erupt across the board.
As far as my own work experience is concerned, I think the communication problem with my parents can be solved reasonably.
I usually sincerely express my thoughts with my parents-education is not a pure trusteeship relationship, but a common responsibility for education.
Home-school communication is not a once-and-for-all thing. Now the communication efficiency between parents and teachers can actually be higher.
First of all, we can increase the frequency of communication. There are many ways to communicate. Don't limit communication opportunities to parent-teacher conferences.
In fact, parents' meeting alone can't meet the needs of parents and teachers for mutual understanding, let alone formulate various dynamic measures for children's daily performance.
These two days, I happened to come into contact with the mother of a boy in my class. The mother felt that the child's Chinese performance was not satisfactory during this period and asked me if the child was lazy. He asked me if my children seldom asked me questions. I told her that her children are excellent, from 2000 to 100 in just two years. Chinese is not his best subject, but even so, his multiple-choice accuracy is still very high, and his single-subject score has passed the top ten. He is not lazy, on the contrary, he is very clever. As long as he can figure out the internal logic of a knowledge point, he can master it quickly and use it freely. During this period, he didn't do well in the exam because the content of the exam was emotional, but he lacked a systematic method to solve emotional problems. As long as he learns the method, his grades will naturally soar.
Even if I said this, my mother was not at ease, repeatedly stressing that children's language shortcomings, did not like reading since childhood, and did not know how to improve. I didn't have time to reply at that time. When I had time to read the chat record again, it was already late at night, so I gave her a long reply, analyzed the learning characteristics of her children, told her that it was inevitable for any student to overcome difficulties, and promised her that I would talk to her children again and sort out the study plan. The mother replied to me at ten o'clock the next morning, and finally she was relieved.
In fact, if you are some parents, you may feel anxious or embarrassed to "trouble" the teacher repeatedly, so obviously you are not completely at ease and dare not contact again. In fact, parents are willing to take the initiative to contact teachers to reflect their children's personality and learning characteristics, which is also a good thing for teachers. Through these connections, teachers can not only better understand students, but also get to know the general style of parents. This is also helpful for educating children in a targeted manner in the future.
Education is not a moment but a process. This course requires both home and school to understand each other and fight side by side, rather than being alienated by various encouragement.
Second, we can also make better use of various auxiliary tools.
Nowadays, technology is very developed, and there are many tools for home-school communication, such as enterprise WeChat adopted by many schools. On the one hand, teachers can initiate parent-teacher conferences and issue school notices online, which lowers the communication threshold for everyone. On the other hand, parents can receive news from schools on their own WeChat, and will remind parents if they don't check the notification system.
I often meet some parents who miss the notice, but are unwilling to take the initiative to consult the teacher because of their personality. Tools such as corporate WeChat, which can repeatedly check relevant notifications, are social saviors for them.
I remember reading a sentence in Zhang Ailing's book that middle-aged people are the loneliest in the world, because from the moment I open my eyes every day, there are people around me who depend on him, but no one can rely on him. Just like the crying father in the news, he is the parents of students in the eyes of teachers, but he still has many roles to play in this society. Every character is making demands on him, and many demands, whether reasonable or unreasonable, can only be digested silently by themselves. However, no matter how strong the "digestion" ability of parents is, I hope that at least in education, we can use more convenient auxiliary tools to strengthen communication with schools, instead of just silently suffering and anxious.
As a teacher, I really want to say to parents-
On the issue of children's education, every time we communicate, we will gain more understanding. I hope we can make good use of each other's communication tools, and I hope I can be your supporter.