How can we educate our children well? There are three characters in ancient times, "If you don't teach, your father has passed;" Teaching is lax and teachers are lazy, so many parents always think that strictness is good. However, there are also some parents who indulge and spoil their children in every way, so that their children can eat and wear warm clothes with one mouth within reach. These are not good family education.
First, if you find a mistake, you should try it freely and avoid condemnation and intimidation.
Failure is the mother of success, and failure can accumulate experience and lessons.
When children make mistakes, many parents seize the opportunity to condemn and intimidate them. Actually, making mistakes is a good learning opportunity. The starting point of this practice is to prevent children from making the same mistake again, but it is often counterproductive. Children may be afraid to take risks for fear of being accused and lose their enthusiasm and courage to learn new skills; Or have a rebellious mentality and do the opposite. If handled properly, mistakes can become excellent learning opportunities. Therefore, when children automatically want to try new things, even if adults have predicted that they will fail, they should still be allowed to try.
That is, let children have the opportunity to try the taste of failure. In some families, when children are ready to try new things, parents either say to be careful ... or simply tell their children the answer, which not only deprives them of the opportunity to try new things and gain new experiences, but also stifles the development of their creative thinking. Therefore, in family education, children must be allowed to make bold attempts and further gain new perceptual experiences.
Second, when discovering advantages, we should be positive and avoid clinging to shortcomings.
Parents should have a keen eye and be good at discovering the bright spots of their children, so as to affirm and encourage them. The development of things always has two sides. Parents must not stay on the opposite side, but be good at discovering the strengths and advantages of their children. I remember a teacher who spoke brilliantly when evaluating children's works and took a positive attitude towards every painting. When the teacher took out a messy picture, the teacher looked at it and said in surprise, "Look at this picture, how many colors did he use?" Let's count together ... "I think all parents should learn from this teacher, dig deep into their children's advantages and fully affirm their children. This is more conducive to improving children's enthusiasm.
Some parents always stare at their children's shortcomings and say over and over again that not only do they fail to form good behaviors, but they are not conducive to their growth. For example, some children have a partial eclipse, and parents are very anxious. They want their children to get rid of it. Everyone said, "this child only eats fish, meat, eggs and vegetables ... what can we do?" In fact, criticizing shortcomings in front of children will aggravate his shortcomings, and worse and worse phenomena will appear.
Third, to cultivate habits, we should be consistent and avoid arbitrariness.
Parents often make some "rules" in family education, such as watching TV for no more than half an hour, going to bed before 8: 30 in the evening, listening to stories for half an hour after going to bed and so on. Obey these rules and don't forget everything at once. This is not conducive to the development of good habits of children. For example:
On the surface, the mother seems to have handled it well. Her son finally let her go and she successfully completed her work. However, from a psychological point of view, in this process, the mother is using negative reinforcement to lay the foundation for the child's bad behavior and consolidate his behavior. The next time he wants to watch Altman, his first reaction is to make trouble around his mother.
Some decisions or rules made at home, all family members must also agree. Otherwise it will also affect the development of children's good behavior habits. For example, my son can eat by himself in kindergarten, but not at home. Every time he wants his grandmother to feed him. Mother is very anxious and thinks it is always bad to go on like this. So, I decided to let my son eat by himself from today. When eating, mother said, "The baby is old enough to eat by himself, right?" The baby nodded. Being used to breastfeeding, the baby eats slowly. Grandma tried to feed her several times, but her mother stopped her. When everyone has finished eating, the baby has not eaten well, and it is all over the table. Grandma couldn't stand it anymore: "Are you still young? You are only six years old. There is nothing to feed ... "This time, my mother never said anything. In this way, the child's habits have not been developed, but have had a certain negative impact on the child. Imagine: if the mother wants the child to eat by herself next time, the child will definitely take the same measure: someone will feed her anyway, so don't worry.
In short, education needs to be strict, but it needs tolerance more. Paying attention to the above three answers and three taboos in family education will make your children feel more deeply the love, trust and expectation of your parents, as well as their respect and affirmation. This will be the beginning of a good family education.
How can we make children more obedient? 1 can seduce him with something, of course, something attractive to children.
If inducements are useless, what are the consequences of guiding him to do what he wants to do? Once he doesn't like the consequences, he quit.
Try to make children like you more, so that they will treat you as their own, listen to you more, play with them more, and keep a childlike innocence.
How can we educate our children well? First of all, how old is the child? Children love to play, and playing is not necessarily a bad thing. It is also good to learn while playing, and in the process of playing, children's creative thinking and critical thinking can be developed, which is better than children in human arts. Of course, you should also play moderately, which requires good communication with children. Don't blindly impose your ideas on your children, which is easy to produce rebellious psychology. You should guide your child to express his ideas and educate him on the basis of respect.
How can we make children more obedient? If we admit that children's development is a process of self-construction and is only bound by their own development laws, then children's growth will inevitably require a condition-freedom. Children "only through freedom can they produce the most sensitive and unique abilities." In Montessori education, love and freedom exist as the most basic conditions of this educational principle. Without these two conditions, there is no education. However, when it comes to freedom, it is easy to feel like a scourge. Adults always think that after freedom is given to children, children will run amok and human nature will slide along the road of freedom to the abyss of sin. Every parent with a child knows that from birth, except sleeping, the child will keep moving, scratching, touching, crawling, playing with water and sand, and constantly looking for food. Few children are exceptions. Only those children who are forced will remain quiet for a while under the eyes of adults, but then they will be more active and vent. We ask ourselves, why are all children like this? Are all the children telling us that they have their own laws of development, that is, to develop and meet their inner needs by tasting (eating), touching and constantly moving? But for so many years, we have been trying to do one thing to prevent children from such behaviors: don't let children eat their hands, don't let children stuff things into their mouths at will, don't let children look for food endlessly, and don't control their appetite, because it doesn't conform to our health concept and ideas about digestion; We try not to let children scratch around, because that will damage our things and bring us trouble, and it doesn't meet the requirements that we need children to be quiet, sensible and obedient, recite children's songs in front of guests, give us face and satisfy vanity. When we stop these behaviors of children, we still hope that children will sit there and listen to our lectures. Obviously there are cars and tables everywhere, but we foolishly think that children need us to teach them with pictures. We hope he can master more knowledge and develop children's intelligence. Of course, when he grows up, he wants to become famous and have a family, not to be a scientist, writer or artist. At least he can graduate from college and have a successful career. When we don't understand children, when what we do is just the opposite of what we hope, have we ever thought that we need to restrain our tyranny and give children the freedom to taste, touch, move and play? This is how children develop their minds. When freedom is given to children, children are no longer at the mercy of adults, but listen to the call of their inner teachers, and they will develop according to the order and requirements of life. He became attentive and quiet when playing with water. Although he was covered with water, the ground was covered with water. Playing with sand, he forgets the whole world, although he will get his clothes dirty; In climbing, he is full of adventure and brave spirit, although it makes you nervous; When making drinks at home, he keeps pouring Gao Legao into the cup, stirring and pouring water, which is both wasteful and disgusting to you; When playing hide-and-seek, he always hides in one place and never tries to change his hiding place. When you find him in the same place every time (he is happy for you to find him), he will laugh happily and keep repeating this stupid and meaningless game to you ... you don't understand its meaning. How will it help his future? Why are all children like this? We know that all this is like a kitten grabbing a ball of wool, ready to catch a mouse. Only the spiritual development of human childhood is potential, even unknown to us. However, life will follow its inherent laws and find the most suitable way for itself, thus establishing a life system that belongs to itself and is in harmony with the environment. Only in this way can life show its wisdom, meaning and nobility. When we deprive children of their freedom of development and cultivate and strengthen their thinking according to our ideas, we will certainly cultivate a large number of colleagues effectively, and their personality and creativity will disappear and be replaced by mediocrity.
How to educate children well? If you want to educate your children well, you can't threaten them by violence first! But we can't copy it mechanically by some educational principles, because children's nature is different and varies from person to person. For example, it is very important to encourage a timid child, give him confidence, dredge his thoughts and guide his behavior; However, tough children are different from naughty children, and they should have certain means. After seeing such a foreign family, I can't remember the content clearly. Specifically, children earn their living expenses by doing housework from an early age (including toys and snacks they wanted when they were young, all of which were earned from their parents by doing housework). Later, the child was very successful, and I can't remember the specific name). Say so much, is to let children know the reward, but also can kill many unreasonable demands of children. In addition, it is also important to find out children's interests. No matter what decision you make, you should guide your child in an interesting and beneficial direction, and don't force him/her to take a path that he/she doesn't want to take at all. Now it is a fast-paced, fast-developing and fast-updating society. Children will always have more contact and study tomorrow than today, so respecting children's interests will accelerate his/her integration into society and life.
There are many factors related to children's education, and it is impossible to explain them one by one, but the most important thing is that the family environment must be good. Give children a cheerful and sunny atmosphere. Parental quarrels and cold wars, even if they are only daily complaints or annoyances, may have a bad influence on children. ...
To educate children well, make friends with them first!
I wish your family a happy life!
If you encounter any problems related to children in your life, you can come to me again and maybe help you!
QQ:64 1779568
I think the best education method is to let nature take its course.
Children are small trees and have their own growth rules. If you understand, please let go; If you don't understand, please don't interfere too much with giving them sunshine and rain, and they will grow up happily on their own.
Find the bug on the small tree in time and catch it; Find the wrong branch in time and fix it.
Spoiling is harmful to every living thing, including us. When children need to go out to learn to forage, wolves will be bitten if they are lazy.
I remember an old lady in Gone with the Wind said it well. She said that educating children is like managing a horse. Let it go when necessary and tighten its reins. Sometimes it takes a few slaps.
It's a mess In fact, I think there are very few qualified parents in China, because our own parents are not qualified. This subject should be carefully studied. It's good for yourself and others.
How can we educate children over three years old? Grandparents are too spoiled. The situation of intergenerational education varies greatly according to the specific circumstances of individuals and families. Generally speaking, the advantage of intergenerational education is that grandparents have more time and energy to devote to their grandchildren, which makes up for the defects of too little interpersonal communication in nuclear families and too little time for young parents to communicate and talk with their children. Therefore, it is easy to establish a harmonious relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. Secondly, the experience accumulated by grandparents' parents in raising and educating their children is helpful to deal with the problems in education, which is undoubtedly beneficial to the development of children. However, in intergenerational education, grandparents' values, lifestyle, knowledge structure and education methods are different from those of their parents, which easily leads to inconsistent education, especially because of intergenerational parents, grandparents are prone to overprotection and arranged substitution in family education. It is also prone to the phenomenon of "only raising and not teaching" due to the generation gap, poor communication and limited educational ability of grandparents. For growing children, especially young children, long-term separation from their parents is not conducive to the establishment of intimate emotional relations between parents and children, and it also loses the opportunity of mutual understanding, which affects the all-round development of children. Give the following suggestions: if conditions permit, you can bring it yourself. If you are afraid that you can't come as soon as possible, you can ask an old man to help you and share some light work.
How can we do a good job in children's enlightenment education? People should be educated in three aspects in their life, namely, family education, school education and social education. As the earliest and most influential basic form of education in life, family education plays a very important role in the growth of the younger generation, which is irreplaceable by school education. With the advent of the era of knowledge economy, the fission effect of science and technology and the competition of market economy, the speed of knowledge renewal is accelerating, and our family education is facing great challenges. The vast majority of parents have no direct contact with education for professional and work reasons. The education of children is mostly based on feelings and experience, and the methods of educating children are improper. Children are generally grumpy, domineering, lack of independent opinions and weak willpower. How to solve this situation? The author believes that in order to make children grow up healthily and happily, the following methods should be adopted: First, eliminate the fear caused by parents to their children. The junior high school stage is the stage when children "cross the hurdle". For various reasons, their academic performance declined, and their parents were anxious and impetuous. There is opposition between children and parents. At this time, parents should calm down and learn to wait patiently for their children's growth. Some experts said: "Children have a stronger desire to avoid failure than to strive for success. In order to prevent the smallest possible failure, I would rather reduce my efforts. " This is one of the important reasons why parents' fear makes their children lose their initiative. I hope parents don't "try" or even suffer when they see their children's poor grades, so as not to lose confidence in their children. Parents should ask their children about their learning from the process, which is more scientific and effective than asking the results. Second, build self-confidence for children. Edison, the inventor, had a strong thirst for knowledge in his childhood and liked to trace back to the source. He asked the teacher why "2+2 equals 4", so he caused a big disaster. He has only been in school for three months and was ordered to drop out. His mother was very sad and determined to educate her son personally, build up self-confidence, teach him liberal arts and chemistry, and cultivate his habit of loving learning and science. Edison's thirst for knowledge was further stimulated. The germ of "genius" grew unconsciously and eventually became a world-famous inventor. It can be seen that success comes from self-confidence, the establishment of self-confidence and the common sense of people around you. Fathers don't appreciate their children. Where does the child's self-confidence come from? Edison's mother didn't appreciate her son, so there would be no inventor Edison today. Parents should use a magnifying glass to discover their children's bright spots and help them build confidence in overcoming difficulties. When children need help, parents should master a certain degree of help, never go beyond it, and leave room. For example, if a child asks how to write a word, some parents will report it casually, which is the most labor-saving, but it is unacceptable. When children ask how to write a word, it is better to encourage them to "can't you look it up in the dictionary?" Check it first, and then tell your father (mother). With such guidance, children will be happy to look up the dictionary. This not only saves parents a lot of time, but also cultivates children's ability to acquire knowledge by themselves. And this ability is very important in a person's life. Only by letting children jump and succeed through their own efforts can children feel the joy of success and build their self-confidence. Third, grow up with your children and be their bosom friends. With the progress of society and the rapid development of science and technology, people have to learn more and more new things. As parents, we should always embody the spirit of seeking knowledge and making progress and set an example for our children. "Mom and Dad are also learning and making progress! "Let children understand that learning new knowledge and continuous progress are accompanied by a lifetime. Secondly, through communication with children, we should try our best to shorten the distance from their hearts, listen to their unintentional words, truly understand our children and educate them to grow up healthily. When educating children, don't use insulting language such as "worthless" and "stupid", let alone sneer at children in an ironic tone, which will obliterate their self-confidence, cause great psychological pressure on children and hinder their growth and progress. " Let children make a difference "is the eternal requirement of parents." There are many ways to educate children. Children's personal situation, family environment and parents' quality are all important factors. Family education should effectively cooperate with school education to achieve the goal of educating students well and let children grow up happily and healthily. In the process of children's growth, the factor of love is very important. However, when love loses its rationality or limit, love for children becomes extreme love, which often leads to obstacles in children's physical and mental development and distortion of mind, which has a negative impact on children's future life development. The extreme manifestations of loving children are: 1, thinking that as long as children's material needs are infinitely met, they love children. In fact, this is an ignorant love. Children's need for love is not only material, but more importantly spiritual. In life, some parents only pay attention to supplementing their children with various nutrients, but ignore the cultivation of their good moral behavior habits and social adaptability. Some parents buy many books or computers for their children, but they don't correctly guide their children to read or use computers. They don't understand that spiritual encouragement, praise, affirmation and necessary psychological support for their children are all love. However, this kind of spiritual love is more important for their growth. 2. Parents overprotect their children and do a lot of things for their children, which virtually deprives them of the opportunity to develop their own abilities and reduces their self-reliance and self-confidence. This kind of love limits children's self-development and has a negative impact on their independent social life in the future. In addition, you can buy some preschool education products for your children. You can have a look: China Youyou Education Network.
How to educate children well is an extremely complicated matter, which cannot be solved in a few words.
If the child is still young, it is recommended to watch the 0-year-old Plan compiled by Feng Dequan. This book can also be read if the child is older. However, according to the specific situation of children, consult professional teachers of professional institutions for guidance, so that children can take fewer detours.
Children who can't educate themselves or have difficulties in education, even children who can't study normally at school, will be sent to Chongqing Youth Quality Training Camp for special education.