The influence of parents' parenting style on children may be lifelong, and even the image of parents and family atmosphere will affect children's love, family establishment, treatment of the other half of life and education of children when they grow up, which will be branded as being born in a family. In fact, in our minds, there lived a little boy or a little princess. When we let our guard down, fall asleep or go into an unconscious state, we are all children who need to be protected and given a sense of security. Many children will resent the negative impact of their parents' improper upbringing on their lives when they grow up. The way of raising children varies from person to person, but for children, the best education is that dad loves mom!
Why is it that a father loves his mother is the best education for his children?
Childhood is memorable and precious for every living body, and childhood experience is very important for shaping a person. The way of doing things, the way of looking at problems, personality and temperament formed by children when they grow up are all shaped by the subtle influence of their parents and elders in childhood. Speaking of the importance of father loving mother and parents living in harmony, let's take a look at the opposite example-generally speaking, problem of juvenile or criminals may come from the following four families:
Parents have a bad relationship, even hostility, often quarrel and fidget, and children can't feel the existence of love.
Parents are divorced and the family structure is incomplete, so children can't feel the complete fatherly and motherly family at the same time.
Children are extremely spoiled by their parents, so that children can develop the habit of ignorance, arrogance and selfishness, and families with poor independent ability.
Because children come from poor families or children are physically different from ordinary people, they can't get the care and guidance of their parents.
These families have one thing in common: incomplete families! Or missing, or too much, the child has not received the attention it deserves! The child's heart is not strong enough to cope with these situations beyond his control, so the inner trauma will remain in his heart forever. Although the original children seem to have forgotten these unpleasant memories of childhood when they grow up, these experiences and injuries will exist in the subconscious. If you don't handle these wounds properly and dare not face them, the inner scars will never heal. Therefore, when many people grow up, they will still cry when they mention their childhood memories, as if they had returned to their fragile and injured self.
The love of a complete family comes first. Because parents love each other, feelings gradually sublimate from friendship and love to affection, and then give birth to the crystallization of love, that is, children. This great process is out of the need of human reproduction, and it is also a unique emotional transformation process of human beings. However, love is dominant throughout the whole process. In the process of transforming the original lover into parents, the love of both parents has always existed. Dad loves mom, and everything is based on protecting and taking good care of mom and children. The mother enjoys her father's love and is willing to give her life to this man, and then turns her inner love for her husband into every moment of doing housework and taking care of her children's every little move. Children are often sensitive, and he can feel the subtle changes in the relationship between parents. Therefore, don't think that children don't know anything. They are the blend of your two bloodlines, and the children are carefully carved by the love of your husband and wife and the care of God. If you are unhappy and even have deviant behavior to hide from your child, how can he not know anything? Then you are playing in harmony, how can children not feel it?
Crayon Shinchan is an animated film worth pondering. In the animated film, crayon Shinchan is naughty and lazy. Although the bad habits of Crayon Shinchan are not very pleasing, many people can find their own shadow in Crayon Shinchan. Because this naughty child is a person who releases his nature and enjoys his childhood, instead of becoming a good boy who will only please his parents. This crayon Xiao Xin looks naughty and mature, but he is still a child. Dad peeks at other beautiful women, and he will report it to his mother. When mom and dad quarrel occasionally, he will be their "peacemaker"; On rainy days, he will send an umbrella to his mother who has no umbrella outside; When he stops drinking, he will help his mother to supervise his father not to drink ... Such a child is naughty and happy, because in his family, his father works hard because he loves his mother and gives Meiya, Xiao Xin, his sister Xiao Kui and Xiaobai a warm home. His mother feels, enjoys his father's love and passes it on to her children, so such children are not necessarily the best. Isn't that enough? If we really love children, don't ask them how good and sensible they are. Isn't it enough that children can grow up physically and mentally, enjoy their childhood without shadow, grow up in love, gain independent ability and freely play with their own lives?
Dad loves mom, mom loves dad, and mom and dad love children, but we can't ask children to love mom and dad. We can only use our love to make children feel love and learn to love. Children are often ashamed to express their love. When a child tells you that he loves you, it is not that he loves you at that time, but that he has always felt your love. Your love makes him a person who will love others. He loves you as simple as you love him!
If the father loves the mother, then when the contradiction between the child's mother and grandmother is inevitable, the father will do a good job of comforting the child's mother while obeying the child's grandmother, so that the child will not be adversely affected by family conflicts.
If dad loves mom, dad will consider mom's feelings and protect and understand his wife as when he is in love. Many women don't want their husbands to be excellent and rich, but just want to feel their love and their self-motivated mentality. There is a view in developmental psychology that a mother's satisfaction with her father will affect her children's psychological development. Imagine that if a wife can't get her husband's love, she will go from complaining about her husband to complaining about her own fate, and finally take it out on her children. So what children feel when they come home is not love, but overwhelming accusations, curses and negative energy. Is he pathetic? Innocent? Will physical and mental development be unaffected?
If a father loves his mother, he will not regard the education of his children as his wife's task, but * * * face each other, * * * educate each other and * * * accompany each other. If there are problems in the process of children's growth, then parents will discuss countermeasures together and solve them together, instead of accusing each other of being indifferent to their children's education and avoiding each other's education problems.
Does dad love mom and show it in front of the children?
How to balance the love of mom and dad between loving children?
Communication is very important, so how to communicate with children?
. . . Update next time!