Some parents think that corporal punishment of children is a way of education. Is this idea really correct? Nowadays, many parents educate their children in an incorrect way. For example, they will be wary of children when they make mistakes, instead of reasoning with them. Children are younger, and children will make many mistakes. At this time, as adults, we should tolerate children, not let them accept corporal punishment. If we promote our children regularly, it will make them very sad and depressed, and it will make them have a self-doubt about whether they have been so stupid all the time. Therefore, corporal punishment of children is wrong. This is not the way to educate children. Parents should never educate their children in this way. When educating children, parents should be good at being children and let them take the initiative to correct their mistakes.
When educating children, parents must guide them to admit their mistakes. When educating children, parents should be good at guiding them to admit their mistakes, not corporal punishment, which is the most wrong way of education. In fact, Bian Xiao is also very strange. It's been 2 1 century now, and some people still pursue the educational idea that filial sons are born under sticks. They won't give their children an opportunity to explain when they make mistakes, and they won't give them reason, just promote them. This will make children feel inferior and weak, and it will not promote their growth.
Children aged 6 or 7 should have a happy childhood, or laugh and play, or read and write in a sunny classroom. Recently, Tong Tong, a 6-year-old girl from Fushun, Liaoning Province, struggled in her hospital bed because of her mother's beating and abuse, and was repeatedly informed that she was critically ill. After another wave of unrest, Huizhou, Guangdong Province exposed the news that his biological father abused his 7-year-old son, causing his son to face amputation. Seven-year-old Xiao Wei lives in Maoming and was taken away by his father who worked in Huizhou. From then on, he was often beaten and scolded by his father. Every time I go home for the New Year, my uncle always finds scars, big and small. At first, he just thought his brother was educating the children, so he didn't ask. As a result, he recently found that Xiao Wei was covered with scars burned by his brother with cigarette butts, his hands were severely burned and he was in danger of amputation!
As a parent of a child, I am always angry every time I see such news! Don't talk about fighting. I don't even want to scold my children at ordinary times, and my children can't care too much. But the behavior of these parents is really irritating. Even to educate children, they can't do this. Are their hearts made of stone? I also advise parents that the phrase "a dutiful son is born under a stick" has long been out of date, and the national laws also expressly stipulate that children should not be punished casually, because corporal punishment or beating and scolding is too harmful to children! First, it affects health. Many parents have said that they can't fight to the death like the parents in the news. Just pinching the child's arm and hitting the ass a few times are all parts that are not easy to get hurt. How can it affect children's health?
First of all, the degree of corporal punishment is difficult to control, and the child is already weak. A few spanks doesn't mean he won't get hurt. Secondly, even seemingly invisible injuries may affect other aspects of the child's body. A study in the United States investigated 67,000 adult women, and found that the incidence of cardiovascular diseases in women who received moderate corporal punishment in childhood was 1.02 times that of normal people, while the incidence of cardiovascular diseases in women who received severe corporal punishment in childhood was 1.46 times that of normal people. That is, the heavier corporal punishment as a child, the higher the incidence of cardiovascular disease as an adult! Second, it affects intelligence. This is also a study done by the authoritative American newspaper World Journal. They investigated 1500 children aged 2-9 for 4 years. The results show that the average IQ score of children aged 2-4 years after corporal punishment is 5 points lower than that of normal children. After corporal punishment, the average IQ score of children aged 5-9 is 28 points lower than that of normal children. It can be seen that if children are physically punished or beaten by their parents, it will also affect their intellectual development, especially older children.
Third, lack of security The safest place for children with parents. At home, there is no need to worry about the collapse of the house or the intrusion of bad people. Everything is so comfortable and stable. However, if parents physically punish their children for a long time, the children will be afraid and worry about whether their parents will beat and scold themselves every day. For example, will bad homework make mom angry? Will the bowl be scolded by my father if it is not cleaned? When children lose this sense of security, other places and others can't make it up.
Only in a stable and comfortable environment can children play and study with confidence. Fourth, it's hard to trust others. The two news stories mentioned at the beginning of the article have one thing in common, that is, the child was abused and seriously injured by the closest and most trusted person. Parents should be the people who protect and care about their children the most, but they have become the people who hurt themselves the most. If you can't trust the people closest to you, who can you trust? Once a child's trust is destroyed, it is difficult to trust others. The direct consequence is either to stay away from others, to be cautious when dealing with people, to remain vigilant for a long time, or to treat others like parents.
Fifth, children will not develop in the direction you want. I remember once telling my daughter who just went to kindergarten: if you can't learn this word, then you are smack. Because she is always disobedient, she runs out to watch TV as soon as she is told to remember words, trying to scare her. After that, my daughter picked up the book very well, but I found that she had been looking around, very anxious and didn't study at all.
Later, after communicating with her, I found that she was afraid of being typed because she couldn't remember the words, so she didn't read the book carefully. Through this incident, I understand that hitting children can't make them concentrate on one thing, and sometimes their fears occupy all their attention. Sixth, some parents don't understand and lack awareness of rules. Isn't beating and scolding children just to make them obey the rules? How can we destroy their sense of rules? The fact is just the opposite, because parents should not beat and scold to complete the punishment, whether they violate the rules or not. When children behave well, they should be appreciated, and when they behave badly, they should be punished appropriately. Beating and scolding itself has exceeded the intensity of punishment, and many parents will decide whether to beat and scold their children according to their own feelings, which in itself has violated the rules.
We hope that children can learn to do the right thing at the right time and on the right occasion, instead of judging whether a thing can be done according to their parents' emotions. This not only can't help children to establish a sense of rules, but also may send them the wrong message. Seventh, you don't set boundaries and don't know what to resist. Parents are their children's first teachers, and all the knowledge you teach them may affect their life. If they were often scolded by their parents when they were young, they would think it was a correct behavior. When I grow up, I will be beaten and scolded by others. They think it's reasonable and don't need to resist.
A few years ago, Chen Sicheng's affair was exposed by the media, and netizens speculated that Tong Liya would divorce him. As a result, Tong Liya chose to forgive him. Many people don't understand. How can he forgive him? In fact, this can be seen from her father's education. Tong Liya was taught from an early age that women should be modest in front of men: Tong Liya's father said at her wedding that he hoped his daughter would work more and serve her husband after marriage, without worrying that her daughter would be wronged when she arrived at her husband's house. Moreover, he firmly believes that this is right, so we can see that Tong Liya's unconditional acceptance of an unfaithful husband is probably influenced by his father since childhood. Eighth, I dare not make a decision for fear of making mistakes. In fact, whether children or adults, if a mistake is punished in an extreme way, everyone will become timid. Children who are often punished by corporal punishment are often influenced by their parents. They dare not follow their hearts, but do what their parents ask. They completely ignore their true thoughts, and all the motivation comes from the fear of being beaten and scolded, and strive to live a life that satisfies their parents.
Ninth, parents with poor emotional processing ability are prone to beat and scold their children, usually people with unstable emotions. I also said in the article "Born into a Family" that children are apt to imitate all the habits of their parents, including their emotional handling ability. If parents often beat and scold their children, it may lead to poor emotional control of children, and things that are not satisfactory will break out. Some children may be tolerant everywhere because of fear, and even have no bottom line. But in either case, children will become moody and unable to release their emotions correctly.
I saw a treasure mother in the group before: children are too timid and always cry, such as crying when playing games, crying when being bullied by other children, and crying when the teacher says that the handwriting is not good. What's going on here? After understanding, I found that this precious mother always loves to beat and scold her children. When children don't do well, they will be served with sticks. The fragile mind has been destroyed by parents for a long time, so it's strange not to cry.