In school spiritual counseling, counselors are often divided into two roles, both as counselors and as subject teachers of clients. These two different roles often affect the establishment of consulting relationship. As a full-time consultant, he didn't get in touch with the client until he received the case consultation, that is to say, before that, they were strangers, and the client didn't know anything about the consultant. The consultant can gain the trust of the client and establish a good consulting relationship in a short time by virtue of his own professional skills. However, in school spiritual counseling, the client has already had a teacher-student relationship before establishing a counseling relationship with the consultant, and the client will directly contact or understand the consultant. At this point, the parties' daily impression of the consultant will directly affect the establishment of the consulting relationship. On the one hand, it will hinder the establishment of a good negotiation relationship. For example, if the client feels pressure in learning and the consultant is a famous strict teacher in teaching, then if the consultant wants to consult for the client, the client will be more obedient, and the establishment of the consulting relationship will be hindered; On the other hand, it can promote the establishment of a good consulting relationship. For example, if the consultant makes the client feel that he is as good as his word in the teaching process, then the client will trust the consultant more easily, which will help to establish a good consulting relationship.
So how can we mobilize the favorable factors in this contradiction and minimize the adverse effects? This is indeed a big issue that we will face in the future. As a political teacher and one of the teachers of spiritual counseling in our school, during the year when my teaching and counseling tasks were carried out at the same time, I have the following understandings:
First of all, understand its own abstract positioning and design it.
Speaking of political teachers, there used to be an abstract symbol in people's minds-rigid, serious and positive; But when it comes to spiritual seekers, people see a gentle, hopeful and intimate angel. Due to the temporary experience and the influence of social civilization, it constitutes the same abstraction between political teachers and spiritual seekers. Only then did I realize that there must be a unique teacher abstraction in front of my husband. Therefore, from the moment I set foot on the task post, I have a clear orientation for my teacher abstraction-a new teacher with knowledge, vitality, love and tolerance. With a clear orientation, I pay great attention to establishing this abstraction in my daily behavior and teaching process. In class, I summarize the monotonous content of the textbook with vivid and rich words and examples, and explain the political knowledge with the knowledge of Chinese, history, physics, chemistry, mathematics and other disciplines, and become a "knowledgeable" teacher in Mr. Wang's mind, which is very helpful for me to establish a good relationship of assistance in consultation. Because Mr. Wang thinks I have the ability to help them learn well, it will be further extended to have the ability to help them deal with other grades.
There is love, so that children can feel warm and safe from me; Lively, it shortens the distance between me and my children, prolongs the "generation gap" and makes children feel that they have something to say to me; With tolerance, my husband feels that I am right about things and not people. Because every time they make a mistake, they and I will not look down on them because of their mistakes, and we may be disgusted with them. Only in this way can children have the courage to expose their shortcomings, possible mistakes and injuries in front of me. After class, I will automatically stop communicating with my husband, although sometimes it is just a greeting in the corridor, a dinner party, maybe a few jokes, talking about stars, pop songs, video games and so on while waiting in the toilet. Although it is not a very in-depth conversation, it is enough for me to know their hobbies and their mentality in advance, and I will keep it in mind silently. These are all useful materials when you need to establish a consulting relationship. I remember once, there was a very naughty gentleman who was always laughing. That day, he was still fooling around and bullying his classmates everywhere, but I found that he was sad and his eyes were often different. I came over and asked him quietly, "What's the matter?" In a bad mood tomorrow? At this time, he was surprised and asked, "Teacher, how do you know?" "Later, he informed me that he showed his love to a girl in the middle of the night and was rejected. That's it. I won't consult him anymore. I can quickly and accurately judge his mentality in advance, see what others can't see, and establish a good consulting relationship in a very short time. It is precisely because of my usual investigation and understanding of my husband that this is an advantage of part-time consultants.
Second, be good at observing and thinking positively.
The second advantage of part-time consultants is that they have similar living environment with clients. Part-time consultants and clients are in the same campus, and they are familiar with the school rules and regulations, school environment, school teaching methods, teaching process, activities and so on. Therefore, as long as you keep your eyes open and make positive reasoning and consideration, it will be of great help to gain the trust of the parties in a short time. Once, when I was in class, I was free in advance. When I went to the toilet, I found a junior girl crying in the toilet. I looked at her carefully, and I estimated that the result was in her hair. Because the school director reflected on gfd at the school gate that morning, girls should tie up all their long hair, otherwise they should take pictures, take pictures of violations and post them on the bulletin board. That girl's hair is neither long nor short, it should be the kind that can't be tied up, and it is also an infringement. According to the regulations of our school, what happened to her can be imagined. I came over and put her hair in front of her ear. She looked up at me. I said to her, "Did you forget your clip this morning?" At this time, she cried more and more fiercely. As far as I know, she is a teacher in a key class, so I guess she didn't intentionally violate the rules. From her reaction, I knew I was right. I went on to say, "Are you nervous about studying in senior three?" When there is pressure, it is normal that the details of life are not noticed. "At this time, she was no longer silent. She thinks their head teacher is aiming at her. Because she transferred from ordinary class to key class, she always knew that the head teacher looked down on her. In order not to delay her studies, she endured it until she finally swallowed it because her hair was driven out of the classroom. She hates, feels distressed and is afraid of delaying her studies. In the establishment of this consulting relationship, my success lies in that I can link the observed scene with the rules and regulations of our school in time, find the breakthrough point quickly and accurately, and find the key to open the girl's heart. Third, abide by the confidentiality guidelines.
Respecting the group wishes and privacy of the parties is a professional ethics that both full-time consultants and part-time consultants must abide by. In my opinion, as a part-time counselor in school, it is necessary to abide by the confidentiality guidelines. In the morning or on weekends, I will stop communicating with my husband through the internet. They are under QQ, I give them a space, they can talk to me, and they don't need to let me know which class they are in and who they are. So on QQ, they will express their opinions. I can understand their dissatisfaction with a teacher, with some school systems, with what things in society are confused and yearning, and even with their own "love" achievements. I have mastered their static thinking and more "intelligence". If I don't handle it well at this time, my prestige and my husband's trust in me will be destroyed. I
After QQ, I will analyze their achievements, try my best to change their cognitive bias, sort out their confusion and give them some guidance as much as I can. I won't casually inform the class teacher or the school guidance. If I find that there is a bad tendency and the influence is great, I will explain the situation to the relevant teachers without exposing Miss Wang's information. Some bad tendencies and habits are still breeding. Don't lose confidence in your husband, and don't delay. At school, teachers often see children say something stupid to me. I just smile knowingly because I know the "secret" in their hearts.
In addition, I think it should be noted that part-time counselors are all monks, that is to say, they first serve as subject teachers, and then become school spiritual counselors after training and counseling. Then, when the school chooses teachers to be school counselors, it is necessary to choose teachers who are trustworthy and willing to approach. Some teachers have high prestige among teachers, but Miss Wang keeps them at a distance. I don't think this kind of teacher is suitable to be a school counselor. The above is my understanding of how to establish a good relationship of assistance in the process of psychological counseling in the actual work task. Generally speaking, as a part-time spiritual counselor, you should have a long-term foothold. Because the relationship between the consultant and the client was presented long before the establishment of the consulting relationship, it did not end at the time of consultation. Therefore, we must pay attention to combining my knowledge of psychology with my husband's love and teaching, so as to better divide and decorate these two roles.
How to establish a good relationship of mutual assistance in teachers' psychological consultation. Spiritual counseling refers to professionals using spiritual theory and related knowledge, following the principle of spiritual learning, and assisting seekers to deal with their spiritual achievements through various technologies and methods. Its consulting relationship is the relationship between "seeking" and "helping"; The results of their help can only be mental results or behavioral results caused by mental results, and professionals do not help seekers with any detailed results in life. Psychic counseling mainly depends on whether psychological counselors and visitors can establish a relationship of mutual trust and cooperation. The establishment of this relationship will help visitors to participate in the consultation process, be willing to express their thoughts and even their privacy, and believe that they can change their wishes and resolutely cooperate. Therefore, it is very important to establish and adhere to a good relationship in the consultation process. Regarding the spiritual task of the school, perhaps the head teacher, in order to establish a good relationship of assistance, let the visiting teachers freely express their feelings, and correct the distorted, aggressive or excluded feelings, we should pay attention to the task of information confidentiality, and treat the visiting teachers with a peaceful attitude, a respectful attitude and a sincere attitude: First, do a good job of information confidentiality of the visiting teachers. Before the consultation, it is necessary for the school counselor to clarify the confidential results to the visiting teachers. Explain the necessary records in the consultation process, and make a certain commitment to the confidentiality and respect of the content and privacy, so as to eliminate Mr. Wang's vigilance and gain a sense of security, thus ensuring his self-exploration to stop. Because the interpersonal relationship in consultation is not based on social communication, but on a specific environment and time, which is shadowy and confidential. However, the intimacy and depth of this relationship go beyond ordinary social friendship. Because this relationship was established with a small heart without any compulsion, it is extremely important for Mr. Wang to create an atmosphere of peace and trust and make him feel safe. For example, without Mr. Wang's consent or the law does not allow it to be made public, it will expose Mr. Wang's secret; When case discussion, teaching quotation, scientific research writing and activity exchange are stopped due to professional needs, it is necessary to hide group information that can identify specific groups, such as teachers' names, addresses and telephone numbers. Secrets that can't be told in old historical photos, Cixi warlord, Cultural Revolution in late Ming and early Qing Dynasty, and late Qing Dynasty. 2. Enthusiasm, hostility and peaceful treatment towards visiting teachers. Psychological tutors in schools can make use of the existing audio-visual equipment in schools, such as radio, television, blackboard newspapers, etc., stop general publicity, and then start activities such as special lectures on psychological studies. Let Mr. Zhong know that some of Mr. Zhong's spiritual achievements are normal, and those without spiritual achievements are abnormal. So that when Mr. Wang Can has spiritual achievements, he can voluntarily and automatically receive spiritual counseling. When negotiating, visitors tend to be nervous and embarrassed, so the attitude of the tutor will have a great influence on their psychology. A warm and hostile attitude gives people a sense of intimacy and can effectively narrow the unilateral gap. We should show great enthusiasm for visitors' internal achievements, whether they are conventional achievements or new achievements. We should tirelessly and patiently teach people to listen to Chen's achievements and regard them as novel and identical. When Mr. Wang states his achievements, talk to him in a calm manner and analyze his achievements in detail. Everything is attributable. It is impossible to talk about trifles with Mr. Wang, and it is impossible to involve his actual achievements. To find out the reason, be targeted. Second, respect the visiting gentleman. Everyone wants to lose the respect of others, but only by respecting others can we win their respect. Respect for others is a noble virtue, and it is the inner expression of the inner self-restraint of the group. Respecting others is a good expression of a group's ideological accomplishment, a civilized social way, and the cornerstone of successfully performing tasks and establishing good social relations. It is very important to respect the gentleman who comes to consult, which is very important to establish a good relationship of assistance. Mr. Wang came to ask for advice. He was very courageous and said that he saw his "defects" and wanted to reform. Therefore, as a psychological counseling teacher, you should express or pass it on to the visiting teacher through words, and you should give respect and emotional acceptance to the counseling teacher. Accepting him is conducive to his own expression and can strengthen his determination to correct "defects". No matter what attitude and feelings the consultant has, it can still be denied. As a consultant, it is acceptable. You should listen to the consultant calmly and calmly, and give him encouragement in time, such as "Oh", "Well", "So that's it" and "Is it so?" Equal word. Fourth, sincerely accept the sincerity and frankness of the visiting gentleman, so as to impress others from the bottom of my heart and finally gain the trust of others. Sincere eyes are Ming Che's, her voice is sweet, her attitude is relaxed, her behavior is calm, and her manners are cultured and elegant. Therefore, sincerity can last forever, which is the basis of doing things and the key to being a man. In the process of counseling, psychological counseling teachers should not pretend to be aggressive, hide themselves, wear masks, play fake roles, or complete routine private affairs, but sincerely and credibly devote themselves to the relationship with help seekers. Sincerity sets a very good example for the visiting teacher, which can make him trust you sincerely, make him feel that you are helping him, and make him believe that the teacher can help him achieve some achievements. And tell the visiting teacher what help and services the teacher can provide. Let him (her) express his/her thoughts and opinions. 5. Insist on "empathy" with visiting teachers. The instructor puts himself in the position and situation of the client to try to feel his joys and sorrows, understand the pressure he faces, understand his situation, enter his mood and ideological category, see the world with his eyes, understand the world with his mood and think about the world with his thoughts. When teachers look at themselves objectively and put themselves in others' shoes, the understanding of empathy will often appear naturally. But counselors should pay attention to distinguish between empathy and sympathy. Because when a group is in trouble, it needs empathy, not sympathy and pity. At this point, it is easy to misinterpret that the client is expecting the sympathy of the counselor, but it is not, because when the client seeks help from others, his self-abstraction is usually low during that time, and he is often too sensitive and afraid that others will despise him. If we are psychological counselors, we have a sympathetic attitude towards visitors, which is unfavorable and beneficial to the counseling relationship.