Since there is a solution to the problem, there must be such a paradox in psychological counseling: if the visitor is not completely changed, there is no way to end the counseling process, even if it fails, neither the visitor nor the counselor thinks it is a successful counseling; If the visitor is completely changed, then he is no longer himself, and he will become his own stranger. In fact, this is not necessarily a problem discussed by psychological counselors, but they will unconsciously solve such a philosophical paradox.
There are many solutions to this paradox. The first is positivism. In the field of psychological counseling, behaviorism has a more positivist style, which is an Anglo-Saxon philosophical tradition, and its ancestor is the British philosopher Hume. Hume believes that no matter how many times you observe, the sun rises in the east and sets in the west today, but you never know whether the sun will rise tomorrow. If someone thinks this statement is ridiculous, let me put it another way, that is, you may think about tomorrow's plans before going to bed every night, but that's because you have assumed that you will definitely get up tomorrow, but this assumption will never be reliable, because you may really not get up tomorrow, who knows? So Hume said, this assumption is your habit, "habit is a great guide to life."
Therefore, the first way to solve this paradox is to return to common sense ("defending common sense" is a famous saying of language philosopher Moore, in a sense to avoid philosophical paradox). Common sense means that no matter how absurd this truth is, in this specific social environment, most of the knowledge that is considered correct, specifically in the field of psychological counseling, is to make custom a criterion. As long as visitors can accept the idea that they are incompatible with society and want to be a normal person who can integrate into society, then this method of breaking away from common sense is very effective. For example, if a person is afraid of something, such as fur allergy, acrophobia and stage fright, then various methods used in behaviorism-stimulus-response model, such as system desensitization, are very effective. However, once beyond a specific cultural field, the limitations of behaviorism will be revealed. The rationality of behaviorism understanding is a kind of instrumental rationality, and the value of understanding is utilitarian value. When it comes to value judgment, for example, in order to serve some phobias, should we use some seemingly cruel methods such as electric shock? Behaviorists tend to simplify these problems. They don't think this is a matter for psychologists, because they think psychology is a science.
Retreating common sense is a way to solve the paradox, that is, taking common sense as the standard, the ultimate goal of psychological counseling becomes to cultivate normal people. If we use Nietzsche's view or Heidegger's view, this general human study is to cultivate people into "terminal people" and "mediocre people", but this idea is very practical and operable.
The second way of thinking is to go back to childhood, which is the way of psychoanalysis. The ancestor was the great Austrian psychologist Freud, a thinker deeply influenced by Plato and Nietzsche. We know that the most important occupation of thinkers is not to solve problems (because all thoughts are based on unreliable metaphysical assumptions), but to ask questions. Great philosophers often discover a new world of ideas, ask many new questions and then die, leaving a mess for their successors. Similar to Plato's "cave metaphor", philosophers pull people who are looking at the shadows on the wall out of the cave. Although just out of the cave, their eyes will feel dizzy, but they see a new world and new possibilities. Freud was a great man. Although he initiated the study of the subconscious mind, exposed more problems and became the third person who dealt a great blow to mankind (Freud thought that Copernicus was the first and Darwin was the second), this new world of thought attracted countless people to cultivate.
Freud believed that people think that they can know themselves and know themselves, but it is actually a delusion, because the subconscious is the dominant factor, not consciousness. Therefore, the idea of psychological counseling is to return to childhood and look for traces of childhood subconscious, especially those sexual-related complexes suppressed by social civilization, such as Oedipus complex and Oedipus complex. Of course, later psychoanalysts proposed to analyze the prototype, such as Jung and Adler proposed to find out the inferiority complex. , have followed this train of thought. To return to childhood, people need a spiritual mentor. This tutor is a psychoanalyst. He told you to lie on the sofa, close your eyes and speak your mind. No matter how illogical and absurd these words are, you must say them, because these streams of consciousness reveal the secrets of the subconscious. Only when they are naturally revealed can you break the shackles of morality and be caught by spiritual teachers. Therefore, psychological counseling has become a spiritual mentor, guiding psychological counselors back to childhood, finding the marks of childhood, and pointing out how these naive ideas were suppressed by modern civilization, and how individuals finally compromised to secular struggles in their growth. Freud faced a paradox here: man can't know himself, but he should try to know himself. Thirdly, the tragic consciousness of westerners.
Freud believed that civilization suppressed human nature, especially human sexual instinct, which led to many people suffering from mental illness in Victorian era. Psychological counseling is to let people release the repression of civilization and their sexual instinct, which is a continuation of Nietzsche's ideal: people should become Dionysus. However, Freud experienced World War II in his later years and was forced to leave Vienna (although he wanted to stay at home like a soldier). Once again, he faces the paradox that civilization suppresses human nature, but if human nature is not suppressed, then human beings will kill each other. Freud concluded that people not only have the instinct of survival and love, but also the instinct of death and the instinct of returning to mother earth. So he compromised in the face of civilization and tried to find a balance between rationalism and irrationalism. His road is very long, and successors continue to explore along this road.
Freud's solution to the paradox of psychological counseling is that a person's true state lies in childhood, so he must go back to childhood and find himself, a child who has not been submerged by civilization, but he must come back under the guidance of psychoanalysts, because only psychoanalysts can see the past through the subconscious. If the behaviorist is a consultant, he changes the consultant through the power of social norms, making him completely a normal person who is willing to do it; Freud changed the counselor through subjective power, forcing him to return to his childhood that he didn't want to look back, but it was the truest and happiest childhood. This role of psychoanalysts determines that they must establish authority in front of visitors (behaviorists resort to scientific power and instrumental rationality), so the empathy relationship between them and counselors is inevitable. It has become an incalculable mystery whether they take the consultant on the right road or on the wrong road, because if they don't make subjective assumptions, they will have no insight, but subjective assumptions are also dangerous. In Freud's theory, there are struggles between rationality and irrationality, and conflicts between belief and science everywhere. As a result, Freud became the idol of many people and the sworn enemy of many people.
The third way of thinking is humanism, especially carl rogers. In the field of psychological counseling, behaviorists have made great contributions, but no psychologist can compare with Freud and carl rogers. Their influence is so great that many people don't know that the principles they follow are the masterpieces of these two masters.
Carl rogers is a representative figure of humanistic psychology who is equally famous with abraham maslow. His solution is different from the first two schools. The first two schools forced inner changes through external forces, and finally became strangers. The strangers created by behaviorists are ordinary people, so they are always better than patients, which embodies the utilitarian principle and is suboptimal. The stranger created by Freud is a childhood self, or id, so it is no stranger, but the process of creation is a kind of pain for counselors and may be led astray (this risk is inversely proportional to the reputation of psychoanalysts, so empathy is inevitable in psychoanalysis). Carl rogers absorbed more wisdom from ancient Greece, namely Socrates' theory of virtue and Aristotle's theory of potential realization. Rogers and Maslow have similar views that everyone has positive potential, and only by turning his potential into reality can he "become yourself" (this is a famous saying of Danish philosopher Kierkegaard, which is also very popular with humanists). People's psychological problems come from the obstacles of self-realization potential, and their functions have not been fully exerted. The role of psychological counselors is not to play the role of scientists like behaviorists, nor to play the role of teachers like Freudians, but to play the role of friends. Both sides are equal, so Rogers hates the terms "patient" and "patient" and insists on using the terms "visitor" and "consultant" to show that he is not a doctor who saves lives. We say that the role of psychological counselors is to "help others help themselves". In fact, this is Rogers' thought, but most people don't know the source.
* * * The realm of love is a realm of phenomenology (Husserl, the pioneer of phenomenology, and Sartre, his successor, are well known for their influence on psychology, but American psychologists have no ability or interest to study these thoughts too deeply with European traditions), that is, to put themselves in the shoes of outsiders at the same time. Some people will say, isn't this a contradiction? To tell the truth, this is also a paradox, and the field of psychological counseling is full of the reconciliation of rationality and irrationality. * * * Emotion can also be translated into empathy. This word comes from Wang Yangming's sentence, "People are connected, the truth is the same", which is more vivid than * * * emotion when translated, but psychologists don't like it because many successful scholars use this word.
Rogers believes that counselors are passive, and visitors should dominate the situation. Counselors should actively, sincerely and unconditionally pay attention to each other, go deep into the subjective inner world of visitors by listening and responding, and encourage visitors to face themselves bravely, accept their true selves, be responsible for themselves, and finally solve their own problems. This way is undoubtedly very close to Laozi's inaction thought, so Rogers and Maslow worshipped Laozi very much in their later years and thought Laozi was a saint.
It can be said that Rogers' thinking is to accept himself and be closer to the thinking of China people to solve problems. He believes that the counselor is just a matchmaker, helping the illusory self and the real self to integrate. Psychological counselors should not solve problems; Neither are the visitors. He is just realizing his potential forever, realizing himself forever. He is free and takes full responsibility for himself. Obviously, this kind of thinking is very individualistic and naturalistic, and he is in no hurry to promote qualitative change, leaving the choice to the visitors themselves. This method is more suitable for those with mild psychological problems and those who want to realize their potential and become elites.
With the rapid development of modern psychological counseling, there are more and more solutions. The three methods mentioned above to solve the paradox of psychological consultation are only three typical ones. However, no matter how special these solutions are, they are all in response to Socrates' sentence: Know yourself.
Behaviorists believe that knowing yourself means knowing the majority of people in this society and making yourself a member of the majority; Freud believed that to know oneself is to know one's own id, and to know one's own nature is antisocial and anti-civilized. Only by recognizing these, can you control civilization with consciousness and live with civilization, instead of being suppressed by civilization subconsciously. Humanists believe that knowing yourself means knowing your potential, the brightest side of human nature, and then turning your potential into reality and becoming your ideal self. Therefore, in view of these problems, they have adopted different solutions and made their own meaningful explorations.
In fact, knowing yourself is also a paradox, because when you are ready to know yourself, you have divided yourself into subject and object, and you know the object with the subject, so the subject can never be known, and the self you know will always be divided. Of course, we have to say that this is still determined by the dichotomy thinking mode of westerners. Freud had his unique way of thinking about this paradox. For example, his personality structure of "id, ego and superego" is to know the id and superego by self, but it is difficult for the ego to control the id and superego (this is also the method of western thought creation: deducing the small paradox from the big paradox); For example, Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory ignores the following four levels at the level of self-realization. There are many psychologists trying to solve Socrates paradox, so there are so many personality theories in the world. It can be said that there is no paradox in this world, and there is no way to develop ideas. However, if there is a paradox in this world, people will be very angry. As Zhou said, philosophy is painful.
I think of another word: happiness. China people know very well that pain and happiness are often inseparable, just like Gemini, just like smiling face and bitter face are often difficult to distinguish, just like self-harm and bliss are inseparable, and human beings have the same attitude towards paradox: pain and happiness, just like Jonah in the Bible. He was afraid of his greatness and evaded God's task, only to find it impossible.