For the remarriage of elderly women, no matter how good the elderly are, the final outcome is mostly not optimistic.
There are several remarried old people around me, and their married lives complement each other and have a good life, but when they return to the west, they are all very pessimistic.
First, my husband's uncle and wife died of cancer in the west. It was 50: 00, so they reorganized their families and lived a kind and loving life. Both of them invested in the housing reform of the unit. Both children have become married, get along well, and have lived a dull life for more than 20 years unconsciously.
A few years ago, the government decided to move the old house by the lake and turn it into a park. So my uncle's two sons suddenly felt that their father was in poor health and should be taken care of by his son. They asked his husband and wife to divorce, took the old man to his son's house, and took all the passbooks and demolition money because the old man was inconvenient to move. After the old man was picked up by his son, he searched for an old woman all day and died at his son's house for more than a year.
When I bought a unit housing reform house, I obviously paid for it myself, but I didn't get divorced. The reason is that you don't have an invoice to prove that the usual expenses are paid by the elderly, and the woman has nowhere to complain. Within two years, she ended her depression at her daughter's house.
There is always a difference between the second marriage and the original marriage, because there are always many unclear places such as children and money. At that time, I would not consider whether to use my pension savings to buy a house certificate or an invoice. When I get old, the problem of inheritance becomes a worry.
Second, there was a woman with three sons who divorced at the age of 58 because of years of quarreling between husband and wife. At that time, there were few divorces in rural areas, and she set a precedent.
After the divorce, I went to the county seat to be a nanny. I met a retired teacher who was six years older than her, so they reorganized their family.
The old man originally lived in the country, and because he loved Chinese herbal medicine, he rented a house in the city and made a living by selling Chinese herbal medicine. Ten years later, they bought a house in the city. The name of the old man is written on the real estate license. This man is a retired teacher with a high salary. In addition, the Chinese herbal medicine business is also good. The old man bought a small suite next to the vegetable market, and the house card was rented under the woman's name.
After buying a house, I stopped selling Chinese herbal medicines because of my age.
When the old man was 80 years old, his son took him back to his hometown. The next day, he asked his stepmother to resign. The house in the city will be his grandson's wedding room. She doesn't believe it. She called the old man and said, "I agree to give the house to my grandson." I think I will be buried with my ex-wife when I die. I will live in my son's house from now on. You can live in a small suite! " Thank you for accompanying me 18 years. Don't tell my son that I left you the house. "
Since then, the two have separated. The man was fine, and his children were filial, but the woman went back to her son's house and was very sad. The three sons thought that they needed their mother's help most, and while taking care of their children, they also married themselves. Now people are afraid that you are a burden, and they will support you after the old man leaves. They took advantage of the old man's death and left her alone. She lives in the old house she shared when she divorced, and she is very lonely. Her youngest son lost a lot of money in business. In order to avoid debt, he hid outside and dared not go home. The other two sons ignored her and never asked her all about her daily life.
On July 20 16, she sold the house in the city, gave the money to her three sons, and finally hanged herself.
Remarriage in old age must be cautious!
I am 53 years old. Retired early seven years ago and bought food and cooked at home. I ran into my old neighbor, Sister Deng, the other day. She told me what happened after remarriage, which made people cry.
Sister Deng is ten years older than me. I can still remember her "crazy play" with us children in the yard when she was a child. She retired in a service position in a public institution, and her retirement salary is not low. Sister Deng has a son who is an officer in the Heilongjiang army. She found a daughter-in-law in the local area and became a family. Every year, a family of three will come back to accompany Sister Deng.
Sister Deng lamented her bad life. Her husband fell ill and died in the third year of her retirement. Her son was distressed to see her lonely. She has repeatedly advised her to form a new family, but she feels that she has deep feelings with her husband and can't forget the years when they lived together day and night. It was not until she was almost 60 years old that she got a certificate with her current husband, Lao Feng.
Lao Feng is one year younger than Deng Jie. When they got married, he had not retired, and he still had some power in the unit. Remarried life is not as beautiful as Deng Jie imagined. She is very tired and has a sense of exhaustion.
"My grandchildren have never taken a day off, and I live an easy life. I can do whatever I want. Now I want to show my wife my grandson and do nothing about housework. " Sister Deng complained. When I called my son, I was afraid that he was worried about himself, so I forced a smile and lied that he was very kind to her and afraid that she was tired. He rushed to do a lot of work.
Lao Feng has been raised for half his life and can't do housework. After retirement, he went to the park alone with his hand behind his back, met his old colleagues, chatted for a long time, took out his mobile phone to see if it was time for lunch, and then went home humming a tune with his hand behind his back.
Sister Deng said that she not only became a free nanny, but also had to pay for her own meals on weekdays. During the Spring Festival, she gave a red envelope to Lao Feng's grandson, which was too little for 500 veteran Feng. She wants to pay 1000 yuan, so she has some savings, but she can't spend all her money at home, which is more tiring than when she is alone.
An old colleague reminded Deng Jie that the old man is very sick now. What should you do if Lao Feng continues? Pat your ass back to your home and wait on him for so many years? This sentence awakened Deng Jie and went home to ask for the real estate license. Lao Feng pretended to look for it for a long time and said he had lost it. Sister Deng went to the housing management center the next day with the household registration book and the marriage certificate of the two. When the staff checked, they said that the house had already been transferred. Sister Deng saw the name. Isn't this Lao Feng's son? The transfer date is one month before Lao Feng and Deng Jie get married.
Deng Jie was completely annoyed, packed his personal belongings and went back to his home. Lao Feng came with his son and daughter-in-law, handed over the real estate license to Deng Jie, and wrote a written guarantee that Deng Jie could live in this house until his death, and then gave Deng Jie a living allowance of 2,000 yuan every month.
Deng Jie has had the idea of breaking up several times, but seeing other old people who have reorganized their families, life is not comfortable, and there are many people who are far worse than her. Although Lao Feng is a little petty, he can still see that he really wants to spend the rest of his life with himself.
Sister Deng thinks this marriage is a dilemma. She wants to give up, but she is unwilling. She has been used to this kind of life for so many years. When she is lonely, she can still have someone to talk to and continue to maintain it. She thinks she's been a loser all her life. She has been for others all her life and has never lived a good life for herself.
In fact, now that the society has really progressed, people are tolerant and are sincerely understanding and accepting the remarriage of the elderly. As a party, since you have chosen to reorganize your family, don't regret it in your heart. You should open your heart, talk to each other seriously, tell all your hard-to-change shortcomings, and let them have an acceptance process.
The most beautiful thing is sunset red. To live is to live in a mood. Only when the old man feels comfortable can he have a smile on his face and the motivation to act. They can depend on each other, support each other, tolerate each other and appreciate each other. When they encounter contradictions and troubles, they can listen calmly and seriously and effectively resolve them.
Older women had better not remarry, even if.
Never take the road of remarriage when you are alone. The worst thing is being homeless without a free nanny. How many people have a conscience?
1, regret remarriage;
2. Regret not mastering the financial power at home;
3. Regret that I didn't leave some money for myself privately;
4. Regret not getting divorced earlier;
5. Regret not asking for children's opinions;
6. I regret not applying for a certificate.
An old couple I know, who have been married for more than ten years, came out in pairs. Handsome men and beautiful women are really enviable. But in the end, the woman said: If I go back in time and live it again, I would never choose this life!
A man had two daughters, and their mother was sick when they were very young, which made people exhausted, but the man never gave up serving them until they were old, buried them and died. Later, it was introduced that the two were very satisfied with each other and remarried.
The eldest daughter is in confinement and the youngest daughter is ill in hospital. Anyway, as long as it is the key point of life, all women go to other cities alone when they need their mothers. They wait for more than a month, and they have no regrets no matter how hard and tired they are, so that their daughters feel that this is their mother.
Women are very kind and love their children from the heart. This family has been laughing and laughing for more than ten years, which is very enviable. To this end, the old couple were also invited to a program to talk about how they get along with their remarried families.
A few years later, I heard that someone suddenly died of cancer and left in a hurry. From illness to death for more than half a year, women have been serving them. After the burial, the woman was told by her two daughters that her father had transferred the house to them and asked the woman to move out as soon as possible!
Medical expenses, funeral subsidies and other expenses are handled by the daughters. The man with little money left at home gave it to his daughters when he was alive, and nothing else was arranged. The woman has been romantically guessing: I have served him so well, and we have been together for more than ten years, and he will not let me go. It is estimated that the house and large expenses are reserved for yourself!
As a result, he was ruthlessly driven out empty-handed and returned to his home in the countryside. At this time, his children ignored her and were inhuman. They also feel wronged: when we need her most, she goes to serve others and enjoy herself. Now that our difficulties have been solved, what does it matter to us that she comes back?
Women who are sad, angry and disappointed are just like Xianglinsao, and they have endless grievances and resentment when they meet people. The most common sentence is: If I could have predicted the future more than ten years ago, I wouldn't have taken this step again.
My former colleague's aunt is a remarried family. She divorced because of domestic violence. When her daughter was young, she always endured it, in order to give her a complete family. Her daughter filed for divorce in her first year of college. All these years, everyone has seen her pain and always felt unfair to her. However, she has been enduring it, just carrying it through.
After the divorce, she helped wash dishes and clean in a small restaurant to earn some living expenses. Her daughter lived up to expectations. She worked as a part-time tutor in the university for several years, and didn't let her mother pay a penny. Then she got married after graduation.
After getting married, I advised the old lady not to work so hard and get along with a nice guy. After all, the younger generation has their own life circle, and it is impossible to take care of the old lady all the time.
The old lady met an old man on the recommendation of a friend. The old man retired as a teacher, and his wife died for two years, and he also wanted to find a companion. The old lady saw the old man's plane, and it was agreed at that time that as long as the old lady moved in, the old man would come to ask for the living expenses of two people. Because of the retired teachers, the retirement fee is ok, but the old lady should be more worried about her life, and the old lady who cooks and washes clothes should be more tolerant.
The old lady thought at that time, rural people, these jobs at home are also specialties, two people at home, there is not much work to do. Besides, the living expenses are given by the elderly. Look at this old man. He is also a learned and knowledgeable man. No domestic violence or anything, so he agreed and moved in.
In the first month, two people strolled around the vegetable market in the community to buy food, and then came back to cook and wash clothes for the old lady. After dinner, they took a walk in the community, and they still got along well.
A month later, the old man's son and daughter-in-law returned. First, I came back to collect the old man's bank card and said it didn't cost much. She kept it until they needed it. Originally, two people bought food for 3000 yuan a month. Daughter-in-law says they are old and eat too much meat and vegetables, which is unhealthy. They only give 2000 yuan a month, forget it. Later, my son and family came back slowly from time to time. The United States said: I said I would go to see the old man and accompany him. Anyway, I came back empty-handed I ate a bowl and pushed it when I came home. It's all made by the old lady. Everyone eats on the table, and then the old lady washes it alone!
So after half a year, the old lady didn't say a word. Maybe she is afraid that people will laugh at her. Maybe she's afraid that her daughter knows she's worried. Anyway, the old lady didn't say a word for half a year, and posted a thousand dollars to buy medicine for the old man. At that time, the old man asked his daughter-in-law for money, and the daughter-in-law said to let them pad first. It is impossible for two people to have no money around them. When they came back, they gave it. When they came back, the old man did not ask. The old woman is very thin-skinned. At the same time, my daughter called her mother, and the old woman said it was good to be here.
One day, the old lady's daughter came back. Seeing that the old lady's mental state is not very good, I asked her about her. The old lady told her in detail. When the daughter thinks that this is not a disguised form of treating her mother as a free nanny and the nanny is still paid, the daughter blames her mother for not saying anything and analyzes it to the old lady. The old lady thinks so. She used to be paid to wash dishes in restaurants, but now it's no easier than working at home.
Say that finish, the old man felt a burst of regret. After that, there was no old lady to be a nanny. Then he came out again, and it was not so clean. After that, his son and daughter-in-law took him back. A few days later, the old man came back by himself, saying that he couldn't get along, so he called the old lady back and said that the salary card was left with her, but she didn't go back!
The most regrettable thing is that there is no true love but it is used. The other party is still arrogant and regards a woman as his nanny, but her efforts are still not respected. There are many selfish old men now, and the purpose of looking for women is not pure. Old women live better by themselves.
Older people who remarry are most afraid that one of them will always take care of their children and give them some money back, especially women who often break up because of this. If the old man does not show selfishness in his second marriage, it is generally good. My wife and I walked hand in hand, and the sick children were busy taking care of each other. In life, the old people have a weak sense of taste, and their food requirements are easy to bite soft food, so they can't eat with young people. Find a partner, the food requirements are basically the same, good for the body, good for the body. It is a blessing to be single and finally die alone, as long as the elderly on both sides are healthy. Some old ladies find a rich man who has been in poor health for several years. After the man died, the children divided the money and got nothing for several years. Therefore, the second way for the elderly to get married is: No matter who walks in front, it is better to leave some money behind. The next one will stop looking at the child's face and take care of himself.
Old people remarry, and what old women regret most is that they don't have economic power! Generally, there will be economic contradictions in the second marriage, and no one wants to give some to the children!