The counselor takes over a case of psychological counseling service, and he and the helper will work together to complete the task, which is roughly the following five tasks.
The first is to alleviate the negative emotions of the help seekers, but whenever the help seekers need to find a psychological counselor, it is always because they encounter psychological problems. Psychological research shows that negative emotions will distort cognition, understand each other's will, trigger destructive behavior and endanger physical and mental health. Therefore, it is the primary task of psychological counseling to help the help seekers to alleviate and eliminate negative emotions.
Secondly, behind all kinds of negative emotions, help-seekers often hide all kinds of cognitive biases, and need to help them find their own cognitive biases and make conscious efforts to adjust and correct them.
The third is to motivate those who ask for help to change their wishes. Help seekers come to consult psychological problems, indicating that they have the will to change the status quo. Psychological counselors should not only make clients' will to change the status quo clearer and stronger, but also make clients sprout and firmly rely on their own efforts to change the status quo, encourage clients to set up self-help goals, and strengthen their confidence to overcome difficulties.
The fourth is to promote effective actions. Psychological counselors should guide visitors to determine appropriate goals, choose appropriate methods, predict possible difficulties and coping strategies before taking action, and encourage visitors to bravely try to change. Let help seekers master the skills, methods and strategies to solve problems.
The fifth is to improve interpersonal communication. Psychological counselors should help visitors get familiar with the factors that affect communication, master effective communication methods, face up to their own communication problems, and learn to eliminate communication obstacles, so as to integrate into the crowd and adapt to society.
Therefore, the counselor is not just comforting you at the end!
Yes, this is a comfort in my heart.
Psychological counseling is your push. Psychological counselors listen carefully, give timely feedback, guide you to find your own problems from your own narrative, and then use some counseling skills to make you realize. The principle of psychological counseling is "helping others to help themselves", so you can't find the answer to the question from the counselor, but the counselor can guide you to help yourself find the answer to the question. If you only complain for you with a narrow understanding, the counselor will listen to you and comfort you. If so, everyone with emotional ability in life can be a psychological counselor.
Hello! I'd be happy to answer your questions. In psychological counseling, the counselor may comfort you, urge you to let go of the burden in your heart and relieve your ideological pressure. But just comfort is not the whole of psychological counseling.
What is psychological counseling in a few words? It's hard. But I can share my personal opinion with you for your reference only.
In fact, psychological counselors only do two things in counseling: love and sleep.
"Love" and "awareness" and "love" are the necessary conversation atmosphere for psychological interviews. Without such an atmosphere, the consultation will stop at any time and it is impossible to continue. The heart disease of visitors is often caused in an environment of "lack of love". Without an atmosphere of love, visitors cannot trust, let alone open their hearts. Of course, it will not work, and it will even cause secondary damage.
"Sense" literally means awareness and enlightenment. Psychological obstacles and troubles are related to visitors in three aspects: 1, wrong cognition 2, early trauma 3, and ineffective coping style, all of which need to be aware and conscious. It can be said that the process of psychological counseling is the process of psychological counselors accompanying visitors to explore and understand themselves. Sleep is the core of psychological counseling. "Love" and "awareness" are two key aspects to promote the healing of psychological barriers, and they complement each other and are indispensable.
0 1. The first is love. When visitors come to the consulting room because of psychological distress and pain, they are nervous, sensitive, distrustful and insecure. He has a lot of questions in his heart, and he is full of expectations and a lot of vigilance for this stranger and consultant.
By accepting visitors unconditionally, counselors show their feelings and understanding of the dark side of visitors that they are ashamed of. Strive to create a conversation atmosphere full of love and warmth. The visitor slowly let go of his worries and anxieties. Start trusting counselors. This process is the process of building relationships.
Metaphorically, a counselor is like an understanding mother. Very compassionate, caring, patient and friendly. No matter what negative emotions visitors show, psychological counselors can capture all the negative emotions of visitors. And turn it into nutrition, and return it to tourists. Let visitors feel that they are unconditionally accepted, that they are good, and that they are cared for and cared for by another person. And this love should be used as the background atmosphere in the whole consultation process. Keep it up.
02. Let's talk about sleep again. Sleep means consciousness. Visitors fall into pain and psychological obstacles. I often lose consciousness of my inner state. From the cognitive point of view, they have many wrong beliefs and negative thinking. Or in interpersonal communication, I don't see that there is a problem with my communication mode, and I am obsessed with the mistakes and injuries of myself or others.
Tourists are in the origin or growth of the family. Experienced some injuries, in order to adapt to the problematic growth environment. Or as a child's visitor, it has formed a set of defense mechanism and interaction mode. This defense mechanism and interaction mode used to adapt to the environment. And effectively help tourists survive and adapt to the environment.
But this model has changed, in the normal social environment after adulthood. This model no longer adapts to the environment. But the visitors themselves don't know. In the process of psychological counseling, psychological counselors should collect information from visitors and explore and know themselves with them. Slowly promote it to tourists. Blind spots I haven't seen before. This process is the process of consciousness and enlightenment.
When visitors have a deep understanding of themselves, the blind area is eliminated, the scope of consciousness is expanded, they can look at problems from different angles, put down their blaming psychology for themselves and others, and change their wrong cognition, the psychological symptoms of visitors will be alleviated, and their personality will grow and improve.
But this process will be long. Because of the formation of mental models. It is the result of accumulation. It is necessary to change this pattern now. For tourists, this is very terrible and worrying. It is impossible to correct the so-called "a leopard cannot change his spots" overnight. Of course, this does not mean that psychological counseling must take a long time.
There are still some psychological problems that can be solved by seven or eight short-term psychological consultations. But this is based on the premise that the problem of visitors is not particularly serious. The usual social functions must be intact. And the more the goal of consultation is focused on one point. It may also be easier to solve.
03. Psychological counseling is a new thing. In China society, ordinary people have not fully understood it. Most people have many misunderstandings. Coupled with the fast pace of social life, everyone is very utilitarian and anxious. Expect psychological counseling to be effective quickly. Like a doctor, you can solve problems quickly without your own efforts. In fact, these are all misunderstandings.
Psychological counselors can't completely guarantee the final effect of psychological counseling. Because of psychological problems, I can't see or touch it. It is related to abstract factors such as your thoughts, emotions and perceptions. Only you are the master of your psychology, no matter how good the professional background and rich experience of the consultant are! Psychological counselors can only guarantee 50% of the results.
The other 50% consulting effect is actually in the hands of visitors. Tourists actively cooperate. Have a relatively correct understanding of psychological counseling. It is necessary to be willing to respect certain settings, slow down and have some patience.
The following are some misunderstandings and misunderstandings that often appear in psychological counseling. I hope it will help visitors who want to receive psychological counseling. Avoid falling into these misunderstandings and get really effective suggestions.
First, psychological counseling is consulting advice, that is, seeking some suggestions and methods from consultants.
Second, psychological counseling is shameful. If you have psychological problems, you should hide or delay avoidance.
Third, to solve psychological problems is to find a "best" teacher and pin all your hopes on him.
Fourth, fantasy plays a very important role through one or two psychological consultations. There is no necessary preparation for long-term psychological counseling.
5. Do not abide by the agreement and setting of psychological counseling. Come whenever you want, stop if you don't want, and fish for three days and cast a net for two days.
Six think that psychological counseling is to make people happy. Not prepared for the difficulties of psychological counseling, when the psychological counselor touches the pain point, he immediately resists or escapes. Don't want to recall the pain and pretend not to see it.
Psychological counseling should be free, or on the contrary, the higher the fee, the higher the level, and keen to find experts.
Think of the counseling room as an emotional vent bucket. Come to the consulting room only when you are in a bad mood. Don't come if you are in a good mood.
Counselors are not allowed to make any mistakes. Think that psychological counselors are omnipotent.
10. If the psychological consultation encounters difficulties or the effect is slow and fails to meet expectations, change the psychological counselor immediately. Dig wells everywhere to ensure that everyone really sticks to it.
1 1 The purpose of participating in psychological counseling is to solve practical problems, such as how to make money without divorce and how to get rid of the third-class psychology.
12。 I really want to persuade my family to consult. I want others to take responsibility for my pain and change it. I don't reflect on myself, and I'm not prepared to take responsibility.
To sum up, psychological counseling is not just comfort. Psychological counseling is a process of constant interaction and equal cooperation between two subjects in the atmosphere of "love". The counselor accompanies the visitors to know and understand themselves, resulting in "awareness and enlightenment".
Wen: Awakening, individual psychological counselor of Jinhua Taoist Temple. Friends who want to consult can pay attention to me or trust me privately, and private letters will reply!
On the surface, psychological counseling seems to be just like what you said. Because the principle of consultation is that consultants should talk less and try to make visitors talk more, so consultants really talk less.
Then, before the consultation is over, the psychological counselor really needs to give the visitors some energy to cope with their later life, which seems to be very close to what you said.
But if psychological counseling is really like this, then anyone can come to psychological counseling. There is no skill in psychological counseling, so what psychological counselors have learned hard is worthless?
First of all, psychological counseling is to pay people to listen to you. Some visitors may not find a person, so listen to him. Listening attentively and giving the speaker all the attention is itself a sign of love. For some extremely lonely visitors, it is a great comfort and support for him to have someone to listen to.
Secondly, listening is also very skillful. Not everyone will listen to the counselor. Psychological counselors require value-neutral listening without making any judgments. This kind of inclusive listening will make visitors feel very comfortable and safe, more willing to explore deeply and open their hearts completely.
The professional listening of psychological counselors also needs full affection. * * * Emotional listening makes visitors feel that they are fully understood and deeply seen, and encourages visitors to tell more stories in terms of security, so that their emotions can be vented, and then their emotions will gradually calm down and they can conduct rational exploration.
In front of different psychological counselors, visitors will have different performances, and what they say will have different degrees of depth, so they are also talking. Speaking in front of the counselor is absolutely different from speaking in front of others.
Finally, comfort is not a simple matter. Psychological counselors first create a sense of security and let visitors open their wounds. Comfort is just dressing the wound, which requires great skill. Different doctors have different dressing levels, and the wound healing speed will be different. Some low-quality dressings may even worsen the wound. For example, you will know what the psychological trauma dressing for psychological counseling is.
So don't underestimate those comforting words, others can speak them casually after thinking hard. The comfort of chatting with ordinary people will definitely be different. Therefore, psychological counselors can comfort visitors well, and this kind of comfort is not ordinary comfort, but enables visitors to enhance their strength and have psychological energy to cope with future difficulties.
Comfort is not a counselor's job.
1. What's the difference between talking to a counselor and talking to a friend?
The biggest difference is that psychological counselors are like a tree hole, which can give objective feedback. Consultants will remain objective and neutral, and abide by the ethics of confidentiality. You can discuss your real troubles with a counselor without worrying about "personal design" that affects social interaction.
At the same time, the objective neutrality of the counselor can help you see the thoughts you didn't notice (automatic thinking process), the trauma you suppressed, and trying to forget it will always affect your own harm. When the counselor re-examines and reconstructs with you, you will alleviate many behavioral problems.
For example, you said you were lovelorn. Some friends may say that there is a lot of grass in the sea, so why look for it in the trees? Psychological counselors will listen attentively, listen to what caused the breakdown of your's relationship, and analyze you and your intimate relationship.
2. How does psychological counseling work?
People go to a counselor with some questions, and the counselor will start with this question and see the real reason behind your problem. For example, the job goal of a counselor is not to help you save your relationship, nor to guide you to develop a perfect love, but to help you see why you don't feel comfortable in a relationship, or why you choose to start a relationship that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you are punishing yourself, maybe this uncomfortable relationship has brought you a sense of security, maybe you have been proving that "no one really loves me", maybe there are more and more incredible reasons, but this is the truth.
Finding the reason behind the problem is the first step. In the second step, the counselor will help you re-understand this reason, re-examine your own abilities and resources, and re-evaluate the impact of this reason on you, thus broadening your understanding of this reason and problem. In the third step, you can see more choices of coping styles, instead of circulating "problems" all the time. Finally, in the fourth step, the counselor will accompany you to bravely try to face life in a new way.
This kind of communication you said, "You told him a lot and finally said something comforting", usually happens after chatting with friends and relatives, so this is also the reason why you still have a bad time after knowing a lot of truth. Because family and friends don't have psychological knowledge and skills, they can't help you analyze what's going on from a professional perspective, so they can only persuade and hint with emotion.
Psychological counseling is a professional skill, psychological counseling is paid professional communication, and psychological counselors are professionals who have been trained in theory and practice, so the communication with psychological counselors is in a certain counseling process, and every word of the counselor must be supported by theory.
Say, what's the difference?
Let me give you an example: if we exercise too much, we will not lose weight, but also make our bodies uncomfortable. We told our friends and family, so they gave us many different opinions, "Ah, let me teach you a method, which is very effective for me." "Hey, don't exercise, isn't it good now?" "You see, tossing for a long time doesn't work, does it?" . . . Are you bored?
Then we went to a fitness instructor, who measured your resting weight, measurements and body fat. . . Then I ask you about your daily diet, exercise plan and arrangement. What's your problem? Finally, I tell you, "Your physical condition, age, diet plan and scheme are not in line with your goals, so it is caused. . . . You can do it now. . . I'll stay with you for a while, and when you are proficient, you can do it yourself. " The practice of fitness instructors in the back is somewhat similar to psychological counseling to deal with psychological troubles, with professional theoretical knowledge, process, analysis, companionship and correction experience. In this process, every visitor can get to know himself again, understand his own problems, and then grow up and improve his quality of life.
How to find a consultant who suits you?
First, with the counselor, if you feel relaxed physically and mentally, you can freely vent your emotions, talk without interruption, and get good understanding and respect. Well, congratulations, this consultant has a good professional quality, so you can express and explore with peace of mind.
Second, the counselor may only say a few words an hour, but if those words inspire you or even have an epiphany, it means that your counselor can go through the jungle covering the surface of life and find the roots buried deep in the soil. Counselors have the ability to hit the nail on the head, and problems will be dealt with faster and more limited.
Third, you think the counselor is like a mirror, with his help, you can see yourself that you have never seen before. Moreover, he does not preach, judge or accuse, and you often grow and change in a calm state. If the psychiatrist you meet will give you strength and make your self-esteem level higher and higher, so much the better.
Without a perfect consultant, she may have some shortcomings, but you can calm down and consult regularly if you have more gains.
In addition, you need to read the following tips: it is not appropriate to have in-depth consultation with acquaintances, and psychologists cannot establish a pure consultation relationship with visitors who intersect with other fields; Don't expect to leave the problem entirely to others. The essence of psychological counseling is the process of visitors' repair and growth with the help of external forces. If you have doubts about the psychologist and doubt her ability and character, you'd better not consult first.
Psychological counselor refers to the use of psychology and related professional knowledge, follow the principle of counseling, and help clients solve psychological problems through psychological counseling techniques and methods, rather than simply saying some comforting words.
For example, I once coached a junior high school student who was insecure.
First, establish a good relationship with him. Use the empty chair technology to help him ease his bad mood and try to understand his parents;
Secondly, through cognitive therapy, help him know himself and learn to take responsibility;
Third, get in touch with parents and exchange views on children's education problems and methods.