The Meaning of Lyrics of Gray Audio Track

I don't know which day I will wake up. I don't want to recall the past. I wonder what will happen in the future. There are many struggles and compulsions in my heart, as if the road ahead is gray. The road ahead seems to be endless, only knowing that I "have regrets and sighs on my back." Who can cry for me? I feel that there is no one I can trust in this world, but I don't want all my good friends to leave me. Looking back, who knows me best can really be my good friend? What if I know my life and have to face it? Maybe it's not the same as my ideal. It seems that I can't walk on the gray road anymore. Now I am "bitter and sweet, regretting and sighing". I really don't know who is crying for me and find that there is nothing in my world. I really don't want my good friend to leave me. ...