When a friend recommended this book, the reason was that the method mentioned in it was very similar to that of the coach. In fact, this is also a question I have been thinking about. If the blocked place in the brain is expressed in words, that is:
Coach, as a young and vital technology, where did it originate?
What's the difference between coaching and counseling and * * *? Can the two be integrated?
How to draw nutrition from psychology and let coaches play a greater role?
After reading this book, I found some answers.
Next, I will use concise language to talk about the similarities and differences between the psychological counseling methods mentioned in this book and coaches.
The English word "short-term consultation with focus on solving" is short-term consultation with focus on solving, or SFBC for short. According to my understanding, this method has two characteristics, one is that the number of consultations is relatively small (generally less than 20 times), and the other is to solve problems.
Why are there fewer times? Short-distance consultation not only saves money and time, but also emphasizes cultivating a person's inner positive strength. Its significance lies in that psychological counselors provide help for visitors, so that visitors can alleviate discomfort as quickly as possible and reach their desired state, and encourage visitors to continue their lives well without the help of psychological counselors.
Therefore, the meaning of short distance is not literally "short", but the counselor tries his best to help visitors solve their problems effectively with the least number of consultations and the shortest time, so that they no longer need consultation.
How to focus on solving problems? The core of this method is to let visitors choose the object of consultation and affirm that visitors have the ability and resources to change (much like counseling? ! ), therefore, this method emphasizes helping visitors find solutions to problems and take active actions towards the established reform goals, rather than paying attention to the analysis and exploration of problems.
According to my personal understanding, I think SFBC and coaches have the following characteristics:
1. "Look at people"
How does Milton view the concept and development of SFBC? Eriksson has a great influence, and so does the coach. Its concept is summed up in four words, that is, "Look at people in a big way" (quoted from Wu Yongyi Tutor Courseware of MCC).
What is man's greatness? Is to see the positive things in visitors and believe that they have internal resources and the ability to change.
Eriksson believes that pursuing the root cause of visitors' problems will not help them change. Instead of discussing why visitors are in trouble, it is better to guide TA how to get out of trouble. In Eriksson's view, the problem of visitors being diagnosed as "mental illness" is a personal "psychological mechanism" that can be used to transform into the ability to cure. Therefore, if we look at "liabilities" from a positive perspective, it can become changed "assets".
SFBC and coaches share the same belief that all information presented by visitors is resources, including personal internal resources (such as strengths, traits, abilities, etc. ) and external resources (such as interpersonal network, social support, successful experience, etc. ). Even some seemingly meaningless or negative emotions and behaviors will become a person's wealth if they are carefully considered and actively used.
For example, a sensitive person may accept external information more easily than others, resulting in emotional fluctuations. But is sensitivity necessarily a bad trait? To put it another way, the so-called "sensitivity" is actually a stronger ability to perceive the world than the average person. They can feel love more deeply and show subtle feelings to others. According to SFBC and the coach, this is your innate wealth, and the consultant/coach is to help you discover this wealth.
The core philosophy of SFBC is to pay attention to the solution of problems, not the problems themselves. On the basis of this philosophy, a very important idea is that the consultants of SFBC regard the visitors as healthy people, not people with dysfunction or patients. This view coincides with the coach. One of the principles of coaching is that people are people. As coaches, we should pay attention to students' advantages and strengths and encourage and support them to find and create their own resources. This concept is also consistent with the view of positive psychology, that is, believing that human beings have healthy self-strength.
Focus on the present and the future
Unlike some counseling schools, SFBC doesn't spend much time discussing the causes of problems. However, this does not mean that it ignores the existence of the problem or does not allow visitors to describe the problem. But after simply discussing and understanding the problem with the visitors, guide the visitors to realize that the problem happened in the past and is an unchangeable fact. The possibility of solving problems exists in the present and the future, and can be changed through hard work.
Similarly, coaches focus on the present and the future. The coach will guide the coachee to have a broader vision of his life and pay more attention to "what do you want" and "what action will you take to realize it". The coach will let the coachee see more possibilities in the future, establish the ideal life he wants and take actions to realize it step by step.
Of course, it is very important for some visitors to find the root of the problem. But this does not mean that all problems need to be traced back to the source, because some problems will not help solve the problems even if the reasons are found, not to mention some problems can not find the real reasons at all. Therefore, both SFBC and coaches believe that instead of focusing on the unchangeable facts of the past, it is better to focus on what you can do now and what you want in the future. This will enhance the confidence and ability of visitors, so that they can still have an optimistic outlook and positive actions for life without the help of consultants/coaches in the future.
3. Pay attention to positive actions
Both SFBC and coaches attach importance to the positive role of visitors, and think that the change of visitors occurs "between two meetings". In the book "Practice of Short-distance Consultation on Focus Solutions", this paper discusses how to make action happen from three aspects.
1) Develop a goal-oriented diagram.
Goal-oriented map is a "mind map", which is an imaginary map formed by a person taking himself to his destination. By recalling and strengthening past experience, he created a set of ideas on how to act in the future, with the ultimate goal of enabling visitors to cultivate some useful habits to overcome difficulties.
According to the coach, this is a visual process. A question that coaches often ask is: "What will you see, hear and feel when you reach this goal?" ? When you become such a person, what kind of influence will it have on the people around you? "When we pull ourselves out and see the picture we want like watching a movie, the picture of the goal will be more clearly visible, and our inner motivation to achieve the goal will be stronger.
2) homework
It is very important for SFBC consultants to allow visitors to do their homework. The homework is to ask visitors to do something different between meetings. These things can be positive thinking, effective action, observing the occurrence of anomalies, or observing what happens naturally. Because if it is only in the consulting room, the effect of the talks is very limited. In order to make the conversation lasting, we must extend the time outside the clinic.
At this point, the coach also emphasizes the action after coaching. The last step of the CDCA process (connection, discovery, selection and action) founded by MCC Wu Yongyi is action. When the counseling process is effective, the coachee will naturally have the desire to proceed to the next step. So usually in the last 5- 10 minutes of the coach, the coach will discuss the next action plan with the coachee.
3) Anticipate possible obstacles
Before taking action, both SFBC and the coach will work with the visitors/trainees to predict the difficulties or obstacles that may be encountered in the process of change and discuss how to eliminate these obstacles. This kind of "preparing for a rainy day" can help them prepare for difficulties in advance and enhance the possibility of success. For example:
"This plan looks good. If things don't go so smoothly, what difficulties do you think you might encounter? What would you do? "
"If you are as lazy as before, what can keep you going?"
4. Specific technical aspects of * *
1) Listen
Both SFBC and coaches attach great importance to deep listening, because only on the basis of listening can consultants/coaches understand the stories of visitors/coaches, feel their feelings, enter their world and look at problems from their perspective.
How to listen? Shallow listening will put the spotlight on yourself, and when listening to others, there will be various associations or judgments in your heart. Deep listening will shift the spotlight to the other person, temporarily forget the "self", and listen and feel the words and feelings of the other person wholeheartedly. Many times, it is those subtle tones that reflect each other's true thoughts.
2) Elastic application
Both SFBC and coach attach importance to the flexible application of technology, and both have their own standardized processes. However, because consultation/coaching is a very personal process, they cannot completely follow the "script". If you just ask questions according to the process, there is no difference between a consultant/coach and a robot. The charm of both lies in "dancing with people". Dance is fluid and changeable. Dancers dance with each other's footsteps, while maintaining the connection between soul and body.
3) Don't give too much guidance and advice.
Both SFBC and coaches fully believe that visitors/mentees have the ability and resources to solve problems, and will encourage and help them to cultivate their inner strength and support them to formulate their own change action plans, so they will not give too much guidance and suggestions.
Personally, I think this is a more difficult part. In the practice of coaching, we often unconsciously change from the role of "coach" to the role of "consultant", unconsciously become experts and tell the coached what you should do. Whether you are an SFBC consultant or a coach, you should remember that the other person is the expert on your own problems, and you should control the impulse to "make suggestions". (By the way, it is not absolutely impossible for a coach to give advice. On the basis of full communication with the coachee, if the other party wants to get some advice, they can help the coachee through the way of coach+consultant. )
4) Degree quantization problem
SFBC's "size technique" and the coach's "quantitative question" are the same way to ask questions. For example: "10 is to achieve the goal, 1 is the worst thing. Where are you now? " "From 1 to 10, 10 is a perfect score. How many points can you give your current emotional state? "
Quantification can make visitors/mentees intuitively see their progress, quantify abstract and emotional things and make them concrete. This kind of question is often used when making action plans, such as: "What can you do if you can take a small step from 2 to 3?"
These are the four similarities between SFBC and coaching that I summarized. Besides, I think there are some differences between them. For example, SFBC focuses on "problem solving", which is a consultation for some specific problems encountered by visitors in their lives. Counseling focuses on "goal realization", which is to help the coachee achieve the goal he wants to achieve. These goals may include completing a study plan, passing a qualification exam, better relationship between husband and wife, more effective time/energy management and so on. Therefore, unlike the short distance of SFBC, coaching is a continuous process, usually at least 12 times per cycle (some coaching processes will last for many years).
The above is my humble opinion after reading the book "Short-distance Consulting Practice of Focus Solutions". If there is any inaccuracy in wording, please ask professionals for advice, and I look forward to in-depth discussion with like-minded friends.
Reference book:
Practice of short-distance consultation with focus solution
Authorized and effective dialogue