Young green,
Peeking out eager eyes from the soil,
All hope began to set sail.
A pair of hands,
On the black court,
The ideal of writing white.
Gentle eyes,
Render the glory of dreams.
A three-foot platform,
Carrying your hard work,
We are your hope,
Teacher!
You gave me wings,
Let me soar in this knowledge sky!
Little bud,
From goose yellow to blue-green,
Grow sturdily in the sun.
Hair on the sideburns,
From black to pale,
Years of vicissitudes.
But life,
Reincarnate in a new form.
I
We,
With your smile,
With your kindness,
Fly to the blue sky.
Love,
You gave us strength.
Kindness,
You gave us wings.
Silkworms in spring weave until they die,
Every night, the candle will cry dry the wick.
You burned yourself,
Illuminated our way forward.
No matter how far we fly,
Wherever we fly,
In this life,
You always have a profound influence,
In this life,
There is always the glory you pay.
We-
It is the hope that you light up;
We-
Is your dream of flying;
We-
You held up the sun.
Expert comments:
This poem successfully uses contrast. Describe "I" as "a small bud, from goose yellow to turquoise, thriving in the sun"; Describe the teacher as "the hair on the sideburns, from black to white, with vicissitudes of life." Introduction description is another highlight. "We are your bright hope; We are your dream of flying; We are the sun you hold up. "
Climbing Mount Ri Today is the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, and a group of us are going to climb Mount Ri.
Come to the foot of the mountain, wow, what thick snow! Our city can't even find the shadow of snow, but here is a world wrapped in silver. Huoyun and I couldn't wait to get out of the car and chased each other and had a snowball fight.
Mother urged us to catch up quickly. The snow on the mountain steps is more than ten centimeters thick, and it makes a "squeaking" sound when stepping on it. Many small trees were bent by the heavy snow, and rows of fir trees and pine trees were covered with crystal clear ice beads and popsicles. It's really like a crystal handicraft, which makes people like it more and more.
Halfway up the mountain, we were all a little breathless and met many tourists who were already going down the mountain. Suddenly, an uncle lost his footing and slipped, and his companions didn't have time to hold him. I haven't thought about it yet, so I hurried forward to hold my uncle who slipped down. "Thank you, thank you. This child is really good. " Several uncles thanked me again and again.
Being praised, I was in a special spirit at once, and climbed to the top of the mountain in one breath, leaving the adults behind. Dad praised my progress last year.
Ha ha! I am so happy today, even the simple meals in the canteen are delicious.
Expert comments:
This article describes how I climbed the Sun Mountain with my parents and others. The article starts with a topic, then describes what I saw and heard in the order of the foot of the mountain, halfway up the mountain and the top of the mountain, and finally summarizes the full text. Words such as "wrapped in silver", "impatient" and "panting" are used properly.
If the sun never rises again,
My back and cheeks are sweaty.
Particles roll down like beads,
Every piece falls like jade,
I only hear cicadas ~ ~ ~
Bow your head and work hard,
As if nothing had happened, work silently.
In the storm,
I have bad breath.
Crazy, crazy, hissing,
The jar washed to the bottom,
I saw the tree fall ~ ~ ~
Refuse to look back, as before,
Whatever else, work hard.
The sun!
Your responsibility is arduous,
I can't stand it, it's too hot,
Your back is far away,
Make it impossible, disaster.
I can't live without you,
I can't live without you every minute.
Need you,
For example, fish cannot live without water;
It seems that birds can't let go of their wings;
Victory, but human beings can't breathe.
All this, everything,
Everything is connected with life!
Whether you come or not,
We're all looking forward to it,
Hope, your glory.
Whether you care or not,
We all sincerely pray,
Pray, your light
Without you,
No peace, no life, no hope.
The five elements are damaged, and there is only one kind of seven emotions left.
What's in the dark is hurt,
In the dark is sadness,
What is in the dark is the pain that cannot be changed!
The sun!
You shine, the world is warm,
Your light, the motherland is glorious and powerful,
You shine and live in your heart,
Time: forever!
If someone asks me,
"Will the sun still rise?"
I will tell him firmly
"no!"
"We respect the sun, and the sun loves us!"
Expert comments:
This is a modern poem. The author described the world without the sun with the title "If the sun never rises". The whole poem is reasonable in imagination, fluent in language, fresh in writing, connected with nature, sincere in emotion and substantial in content.
The afternoon sun wind swept the lazy leaves in summer afternoon, attracting a touch of swaying green.
Snow drifts over people walking on winter nights, in exchange for that little touching white.
When the sun pours, summer and winter instantly become a kind of happiness.
I like walking in the afterglow of summer nights. Farewell to the hot summer breath, leaving us fresh and comfortable for a long time. Our shadows become very long, but the silence is disturbed by the already sparse shadows. The sun shines on the face, not the sun, but a comfortable feeling. The sun finally showed his gentle side, gently kissed our faces, and let us fall into silence.
I like to look at the windows in winter afternoons. Snowflakes all over the sky have restrained its desire for control, and instead, sporadic ice crystals are dotted with dreams that I don't know who it is. Sunshine seems to be a cheerleader, igniting the white world with her enthusiasm and awakening Snow White's dream. The temperature in the room covered the windows with a thin gauze, and the scenery became gradually blurred. Whose scenery and dream is this?
When the sun flies over the earth, it brings us a kind of happiness in winter and summer, and it is a kind of heartfelt happiness. Feel the warmth with your heart, inner peace and warmth.
Expert comments:
In this landscape prose, the little author shuttled between Xia Dong, showing us a different afternoon sunshine, so lazy that no one was there. This article is beautiful in language, exquisite in writing and between the lines, which reflects my satisfaction and happiness in enjoying the afternoon sunshine. It's really good!
In the harsh winter of sunshine and life, the earth is covered with thick snow, rivers are frozen, grass is dead, trees are standing naked, there is no animal shadow on Yuan Ye, and the earth is lifeless everywhere.
Spring has come and the earth wakes up in the sun. The snow began to melt, the ice on the river also thawed, the stream flowed down from the mountain, the grass turned blue, the branches grew green buds, and animals hiding in caves for the winter appeared. Summer is even more lively: the river seems to be rushing; Birds are singing; Cattle and sheep are running on the grassland, and the locust trees on the roadside are covered with dense green branches and leaves, moving with the wind …
Where do these energetic phenomena come from? It was given by the sun. In winter, on this grassland, the sun shines less, so everything seems lifeless; When spring comes, the sun is brighter and the earth is alive again.
With the sun, everything on earth can move. The sun makes the earth more lively.
The sun created this biological world. Without the sun, there would be nothing in the world, not even a blade of grass and a drop of dew.
Expert comments:
In this composition, the author describes the scene that winter goes and spring comes, and then realizes some truth. The language of the article is beautiful, such as "Summer is more lively, and the river seems to be rushing", using anthropomorphic rhetoric and vivid images. The author realized that "the sun created life" and highlighted the center.
One morning, the sun rose high in the east of Ran Ran, and the earth was covered with a layer of red. Gorgeous clouds carry light and give off colorful light. The morning light shines on the lake, and the breeze rises at the beginning, and the fine waves jump, stirring the lake to pieces of gold. Everywhere is full of vitality and vigor. At noon, the sun is no longer as gentle as in the morning. It shines brilliantly on the earth. Weeds had to sleep helplessly in the heat, and flowers hung their heads feebly. The wind is like a fan in a stove, hot, blowing on people and burning brightly. From time to time, the asphalt road will give off an unpleasant smell, and sometimes it will give off the smell of burnt tires. At this time, everything on the earth was shrouded. In the evening, the sun gathered dazzling light and turned into a golden disc. Red light was sprinkled on the lake, and several pink clouds floated in the sky with magnificent light. Gold is floating on the lake; The trees look greener, too. The sunset gave her the last ray of light and left with a smile. However, tomorrow morning, a red sun will rise from the eastern horizon of Ran Ran!
Expert comments:
This landscape prose is vivid and meticulous, showing the daily changes of the sun. In this paper, many figures of speech such as metaphor and personification are used, such as "the breeze rises at the beginning, the small spray jumps, stirring the lake and breaking the gold", and the word "stirring" shows the naughty nature of the small spray.
Miss Sun came to the world with a palette. There are seven different color inks in the palette, namely, red, orange, yellow, green, cyan, blue and purple.
Sungirl painted the sky blue with blue ink. After painting, I washed my pen in the sea. As a result, the sea turned blue. She painted the seedlings green with green ink. Suddenly, a lovely Xiaoqing frog jumped into the green wheat field. As a result, the little frog turned green. Miss Sun painted the harvested wheat golden again, and accidentally painted the rape flowers golden.
Miss Sun came to the orchard and carefully painted the big round apples bright red and the oranges orange. Then, she went to the vineyard and painted the crystal clear grapes into beautiful deep purple.
Suddenly, a clever swallow accidentally stood on the vine and knocked over Miss Sun's palette, adding another layer of ink to the swallow's clothes. Palettes were scattered everywhere, so the mountains turned blue, the earth turned dark yellow, and even the pebbles were stained with a little grayish yellow.
I also want a marker from Miss Sun.
Expert comments:
Why is nature colorful? After reading the article, we found the answer. It turned out to be Miss Sun's masterpiece! There are two highlights in this paper: 1 and ingenious imagination, which constitute a beautiful picture. 2. The use of rhetorical devices such as metaphor and personification adds endless interest to the article.
Revenge of the Sun Tengu once tried to eat the sun. People helped him drive away the dog, and the sun thanked the human beings. But Sun always wanted to avenge the dog. He looked forward to the stars and the moon, and the opportunity finally came.
On this day, Tengu woke up and thought: I have slept for 500 years, and the world should have changed a lot. After thinking about it, I came to this world to see the changes.
Tengu is playing with butterflies. When the sun saw it, it smiled. He began to carry out his plan: he pretended to be sad and said, "Tiangou! You eat me, I'm exhausted after a day's work! " Tiangou said, "Good." Tengu flew and began to put the sun in his mouth and eat. The sun carries out the second plan: heat is emitted in the dog. Tengu was so hot that he flew to the sea to drink water. But the sea is far away from here, and the tengu are flying around. When it flew to the well, it was no longer hot. It turns out that the sun has gathered its light. Tengu flew home and watched TV proudly. When the sun saw that it had enough heat, it suddenly appeared, and Tengu suddenly lay in bed and died.
The sun split the dog's body with heat and jumped out. I flicked my fingers proudly: "You want to eat me, hehe, you want to be beautiful!" "
Expert comments:
This composition, from the beginning, has extraordinary efforts, and has the effect of pulling one hair and moving the whole body. The young author has rich imagination, novel materials and bold ideas, but his narrative is very dull and his language description is not vivid enough. I hope the little author will make persistent efforts.
The sun If I become the sun, I will play in the high blue sky and like to run around. Mom, will you know me?
If you shout, "Son, where did you go this morning?" I stood proudly in the sky and smiled, but I didn't say a word.
I want to shine slowly and watch you work.
When I go to work, I pass by the community with flowers and birds, look up at the sun and sigh that the sunshine today is really good. I will sprinkle warm sunshine on you. But you never know, that sun is me.
When you are sitting in the office writing notes, I will secretly shoot a few messy and fine rays of light through the window gap, right where you write. But can you guess that this is a ray of sunshine for children?
When you came home from work, I pulled out the moon, and I suddenly fell to the ground and became your child again. Please give me something delicious.
"Where have you been? I haven't seen you all day. "
"I won't tell you, mom." That's all I could tell you.
Expert comments:
This article obviously applies Tagore's "Golden Flower", but it is well used and truly expresses the love for the mother. The language of the article is exquisite, the description of "I" turning into the sun is detailed and vivid, and the idea is simple and intriguing.
One day the sun and the moon meet, and the sun and the moon meet. He said to the moon, "Hey, friend, you shouldn't come here now."
The moon shook her head and said, "Oh, great sun, I just came to see you and chat with you for a while."
The sun shook his head and said, "oh, but people will be angry." This kind of weather really makes them angry. "
"My dear Sun, I can't do anything for a short time." The moon.
"Oh, well, just for a little while." The sun.
"I knew you would promise me. So, what shall we talk about? " The moon.
"You know, I have been very angry since my nine sons were shot by Hou Yi. They are my sons! " The sun.
"This is really sad. They are so cute. " The moon.
"My heart, I want to die. I can't feel it beating. " The sun.
"……"
At this point, the world is half hot and half cold, and human beings can't stand it anymore. They told the emperor about the disaster on earth, and the emperor was very angry after hearing this, so that the sun and the moon could never meet, or they would be turned into stars.
Since then, the sun and the moon have never met again.
Expert comments:
The language is too dull.